All These Feelings In My Tummy

My tummy feels funny. It feels funny in a way that feels like a few thousand butterflies have been given the go signal to fly around it non-stop. My knees feel like jelly. I feel weak in the knees and it's a little scary that I have no control over it. And my fingers take on a life of their own. They're shaky and I can barely grab my ballpen to write legibly.

All these feelings are new to me again. Like a little grade school kid discovering the wonders of boy bands and MTV and all the funny feelings in the tummy it comes with. It's kinda fun at first and then it leaves you a wanting. Like your grade schooler would want to jump at the next boy band concert, I want to know what comes after all these funny feelings in my tummy.

Photo credit: Sketchfu

I used to kind of just brush it off. I thought it was fun and cute. And then all of a sudden, my funny feelings in the tummy came with weird monsters inside my head -- grown up expectations. And then it kinda stopped being as fun as before.

Now everything has to mean something. Every single conversation, every single encounter, every single stolen look is forced to be loaded with meaning. The meanings may or may not be true but it's the guesswork that comes with it that brings in the frustration. And the monster that is grown up expectations managed to have the power to make it all complicated and not so fun anymore.

In the wake of all the guessing and the second guessing, I realized many important things. It's these small things, it's these small changes in thought that make the world of a difference between cute and fun to weird and creepy.

If it's meant to happen, it'll be easy. If the magic really is there, it shouldn't feel like work. And when it's too difficult, it probably just means you're forcing it.

So stop with the guesswork. Stop with the pushing. If it's not meant, no amount of force will make it happen. Or if it does, it'll just be weird. If it's supposed to happen, it will. Trust that.

Scruffy Boyfriend Peg

This is how my boyfriend will look like. This is the perfect amount of scruffy and sexy and geeky and handsome and smart-looking and amazing and all that :)

Photo from the Zach Braff self portrait collection from Facebook :)

I won't take it against The Boyfriend if he also writes well and is as incredibly funny as Mr. Braff himself. He is passionate and madly in love with his purpose and happily making his mark in his own pocket of the world. He is charming and gracious and beautiful. He is romantic and interesting and funny and his own adorable brand of weird.

He is exciting and adventurous and writes unbelievable love letters. If there is anything I will not doubt, it is the fact the This Boy is really, unbelievably, so into me, there will be no need for pointless (and might I add, very frustrating) mind games. There will no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion. And The Boy's love? It will be so painfully obvious, it will be very very hard to miss. I will come to question many things (as does my brain that's hard-wired for these kinda things) but never will I come to question This Boy's love.

Come find me, babe! :)

I am a Blue Diamond

I learned that all things happen twice -- the first time in your mind, second time in your in reality. This is me saying this in my mind and harnessing the power of intention.

Know the intentions of your heart and make your own declarations. Cheers to a great life!

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I always play to win.
I am focused and consistent
I do everything at 100%
I'm excellent in everything I do
I am the best leader around the world
I have 100% integrity, I always do as I say
I always finish what I start
I always attract success
I am richly blessed and happy
I'm more than a conqueror :)

Nothing is Impossible

I'm sharing a song that was on crazy loop over the weekend. I love the energy of this song. When you hear it, it's impossible to not feel happier and lighter. This version is by PlanetShakers. Enjoy :)

Nothing is Impossible
by PlanetShakers

What Do You Want?

Good morning!

I hope you are having as great a morning as I am. I just came from a two-day boot camp and I am exploding with happiness at the breakthroughs I was blessed with over the weekend! I am amazed at the power my brain wields and now know better than to just let it all go to waste. I am convinced, now more than ever, that I should feed it daily with the right thoughts and work my hardest to keep the trash as far away as possible.

I just want to share some bits of brain food I got from my The Daily Love subscription. Enjoy feeding your mind and have a great day! :)

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The Daily Love
10-July-2011

Beethoven was deaf, Milton was blind, but their names will last as long as time endures, because they dreamed and translated their dreams into organized thought.

There is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to receive it. No one is ready for a thing until s/he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief, not mere hope or wish. Open-mindedness is essential for belief. Closed minds do not inspire faith, courage, and belief.

Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty. A great poet has correctly stated this universal truth through these lines:

'I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I has asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.'"

- Napoleon Hill
from his classic and best-selling book "Think and Grow Rich"

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P.S. There's so much more I want to share from my learnings over the weekend. Let me gather my thoughts (and reread my notes) and I will be back with some crunchy food for thought for everyone. See you on the next post.

P.P.S. This I learned from Kunnal Nayar (of The Big Bang Theory) and I'd like you to try cos it unbelievably works. Close your eyes for a second and then smile. Smile a big smile and feel the happiness. Don't you feel lighter? Be awesome today, okay?