Welcoming the New Year!

Hello hello hello from my family to yours! I'm blogging from the comfort of our hotel room tucked safely here in Ortigas. As has been customary for a few years or so, my family hies off to a hotel to keep a safe distance from our neighbors' happy set of fireworks/crackers. Haha!

We're not very big on celebrations really, so on big events like Christmas and New Year's, we're pretty much just whiling it away, waiting from the celebrations to come through.

Just wanted to check in to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year's Eve celebrations! I'm gathering my thoughts trying to put together a list of all the things and people I am thankful for for the past year. Year end report in a bit!

Here's to a BIGGER, BETTER, BOLDER new year. 2012, you will be MY year. Cheers!

Life is Short

THIS. IS. YOUR. LIFE

DO WHAT YOU LOVE. AND DO IT OFTEN.
If you don't like something, change it.
If you don't like you job, QUIT!
If you don't have enoug time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, STOP.
They will be waiting for your when you start doing things you love.
Stop overanalyzing. Life is simple.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people.
We are united in our differences.
Some opportunities come only once, seize them.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is.
Share your inspiring dream with them.
Life is about the people you meet,and the things you create with them.
So go out and start creating.

Life is short.
Live your dream.
And share your passion :)

New Year's Eve and my New Year's Ball Drop Wish

Last Thursday, I caught "New Year's Eve" with B. We pretty much left all expectations at home as is required with Hollywood movies that feature at least two hundred Hollywood heavyweights. There's just no way the twenty-five different plot lines would be "developed" in a way that makes you remember the movie three days after you caught it. It was undrestood that there would just be ogling of pretty faces. That you go in expecting to watch the Hollywood version of ABS-CBN's Sunday show ASAP.

And yeah, when you step into the movie house thinking that, you go out of the movie house happy. And not feeling cheated for paying Php 190 for your movie ticket. All good. Everybody wins. Pretty much.

All the beautiful people, put your hands up!

There's really not much to say about the story. I guess it really is about all those beautiful people jostling for airtime (and your attention) trying to fit their megawatt smile in the big screen. But I'll let you in on a small secret. And yeah, after that parade of beauty, this is my takeaway from the movie :p

My secret wish is head on out to New York and celebrate New Year's Eve at Madison Square Garden with (how to put in a tasteful, non-cheesy way? haha) The Boyfriend and kiss when the ball drops! :) This was what was in my head while watching the movie while all the scenes lead up to the ball drop. Maybe that's why the movie was pretty fun :p

Lila with the Golden Eyes

So last night I was trawling Facebook and I found this:



Mystery "J" writing to a certain "Lila with the Golden Eyes"

A mystery "J" was writing to a certain "Lila with the Golden Eyes" in the hopes of meeting her again. If the novelty of this thing is somehow lost in translation, let me flesh it out for you. "J" wrote to "Lila with the Golden Eyes" but putting up this tarp in one of the (beautifully manicured) lawns of the Ateneo campus in the hopes of meeting lady love again. They met at a party, talked about random cute things, but our poor boy failed to get the girl's number. The conversation meant so much to him he had to do THIS.

The cynic in me is going all "Weh?" but the closet romantic is winning -- and openly gushing. This feels like something straight out of a Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie! *kilig*

I wonder who "Lila with the Golden Eyes" is? Did she gush as much as I did? Did she realize this was for her?  Did she find if adorable or was she appalled? I'm rooting for J!

Oh the joys of finding that one that gets your brand of weird :)



Dreaming in Detail aka My Road to Writing Superstardom

This morning I woke up around 5ish, in my still very dark bedroom and the cold Christmas-y morning air. My drearm, a very vivid one, came to an abrupt end. I was smiling when I woke up and seriously thought to myself, "I should really write this down, this may be the next 'Twilight' and my foray into writing superstardom" Yes, I think these thoughts at 5 in the morning :p

(Random sidebar re Twilight and Stephanie Meyer. I know Twilight is one of the most detested movies of all time but I found an interesting story about its author, Ms. Meyer, the other day. She apparently was a receptionist who dreamt of someday writing a novel. She was 28 and already had 3 kids. One day she dreamt a vivid dream that had vampires and werewolves and some weird inter-species love affair. She wrote her novel and wrote 15 proposal letters to 15 different publishing houses. she got 9 rejections, 5 no replies, until finally Writer's House decided to buy the rights to her book. She refused a lump sum USD750K payment and opted for a royalties-based payment scheme. The Twilight series has sold over a few million copies and earned over a billion in box office. Suffice it to say, Ms. Meyer's weird dream has her now swimming in unbelievable fortune, thanks to her audacity. There's that, now back to MY reality)

I remember pretty much every detail to my dream when I woke up this morning. Now just a few hours after when I sat down to write about it (in the hopes of coming up with another 'Twilight') I have very little idea what went on in the dream. This is me trying to piece it together.

I was on a writing camp, of course with several other writers. It was in an out of town sprawling property with pretty houses, surrounded with beautifully manicured lawns. The characters in the story were all interesting to me, all very witty, all have interesting opinions about the things I like, which is mostly TV and movies. In a nutshell it was 'dream team' of sorts to me haha. There as this one really tall guy, let's call him Tall Guy, in the group (you know it was going this direction) who I noticed since the beginning of the dream. I thought he was too pretty for me so I never really bothered. (Shet, even in my own dreams I have self-esteem issues!)

Somehow the group found itself in a car and Tall Guy (as dreams go) was seated across me (what kinda car exactly we were driving and how we can sit across each other kinda boggles me, too). Out of the blue, Tall Guy randomly says to me, "I've always thought you were beautiful" #ForTheWIN (This is turning out to be too much of a Kate Hudson romcom)

Then we end up talking the day away. He likes TV and movies, he likes reading, he's witty (he probably sounds bland and generic in this description but believe me, Tall Guy was really fascinating in the dream). Tall Guy is/was such a doll. THEN I WOKE UP.

To try to finish the dream/story (or my Twilight-in-the-making) I thought up some reason to make it exciting. I live in Baguio and he lives in uh, Davao? So we can't be together? That's uh, new.

Okay maybe this dream isn't my 'Twlight'. Haha.

(On the upside though, Tall Guy telling me he thought I was pretty, kinda made my day. Okay, now I feel weird announcing that on this blog. Blush. Haha. Well, dream is maybe no Twilight or ticket to writing superstardom, but I could always use a happy thought. Hmm, I wonder if that means I'll be meeting Tall Guy any time soon? :)

Almost 25yo Tries to Figure It Out

I'm just trying to find out whether I can still write. There's that and also trying to make word pictures and concrete thoughts from the abstract feelings and ideas all swimming and fighting for space in my head. A good number of things happened in the very recent past and my brain has been fighting for ways to make sense of all of it.

I'm trying not to sound melodramatic but I unfortunately am not succeeding thus far. If it is anyway implied in the last three sentences, I'd just like to clear some possible misreadings of this post. There has been no breakup, no grave illness, nor God forbid, no death to set this off. I quit my job less than 20 days ago. Well, I guess that just kills all potential excitement of this post.

I know that's trivial for most, not a show stopper for anyone. It's just that this decision came at a point in my life when everything feels so tentative. I've never felt so out in the cold like this, ever. I feel like everything is rushing towards me and I am too surprised to do anything.

All these feelings of uncertainty have, of course, a lot to do with the decision to quit my job. But I think this has more to do with turning 25 and living with the expectations, both real and imagined, from a grown woman, a real adult. I feel so pressured to clean up, to live a manicured glossy life, to live like the people on my TV shows.

I don't even know who sets the rules but somehow I am bound by it. Maybe all the thinking is magnifying the thoughts. As it is always said, "what you focus on grows". And just as my brain is on this overdrive, my brain chooses to see colleagues getting married, old classmates raising children, people my age jetsetting all over, meeting important people, pursuing their passion with so much certainty, cleaning up so well -- and in my head, just pretty much doing things I am not doing and looking like they've got it all figured out.

I know a huge chunk of all these thoughts are assumptions my brain has chosen to make to support my theories and may or may not be true. The pressure can be both real or just imagined. But either way, it's eating at me and it's feeding on my paranoia. I want to talk about it with someone but I'd propbably have no idea what to say.

Now I feel this compelling need to run away from it all. But now, unlike a bad teacher in college whose class I can just skip, there's no skipping this one. The pressure just nags at me until I actually know what to do with it. The thing is, I don't know what to do with it.

It may be at the very very back of my mind, but I know these are but roabumps on the journey and that this has a happy ending. But this hope is somehow overpowered by the mob rule in my head that is irrational thinking. I know I'm supposed to enjoy the journey so that the happy ending is sweeter but my stubborn brain refuses to relent and still chooses to flail around and panic.

I wish I could get a sneak preview into my next three years, know that by then all THIS has been worth it, that then all my fears were assuaged and dealt with. But I can't so I have to descipline my brain to JUST BELIEVE that it will all work out in the end.

The tunnel may be long but there is definitely the light at the end of it will be beautiful. REPEAT UNTIL BRAIN UNDERSTANDS.