Hullo again, writing

As always, I have an unbelievable backlog of "blog entries" inside my head. And by blog entries, I mean random brain farts that I have to have in writing so they are safely cemented as memories.

The thing with me is that in times when my life presents pretty interesting things to blog about, my writing shuts down. I am too happy to write. I am too mopey to write. I am too busy to write, or at least I think I am. But yeah, maybe for the most part, I take this blog a little too seriously for my own good. I don't you know, 'drunk write.' Not that I get drunk, or write in the hypothetical drunkenness. Think drunk-dialing, only this time writing. And um, non-drunk. Okay, I am abandoning that train of thought.

Leaving the metaphors aside, it's like unless I have something (I think) is 'bloggable' or something I can write (poser) sophisticated thoughts on, I don't write. Which defeats the whole purpose of this thing, which is pretty much random, informal, and spontaneous.

So yeah, this is me breaking the ice between me and writing. It's been a whole month. Hullo writing self, welcome back to the virtual playground of computerized brain fart :)

The Happy Team Eastwood Entry

Belated belated entry. It's been a good month after crazy training and that event on Nov21st. I just felt like I had to write a token entry to recap the good times I had with the Team. I was reading back two entries ago, and it was just all angst and whiny-ness and I just figured it doesn't do the experience justice. So this is me looking back at the good times :)

Who would have thought I'd share the stage with these girls and um, dance
very suggestively atop a chair in front of the  whole of A.Venue?
Definitely not me :p 

Muay Thai Wars | Nov21st | A. Venue Makati

Waiting for turn at run through
(from left: Franz, Carla, Aiza, me, Aret, Sep, Zan,
Blanche, Lourdes, Cla, Honey)

Early morning of Nov 21st for registration
(clockwise from bottom left: Aiza, Sep, Cla, Franz,
Honey, Anne, Lourdes, Carla, me)

After the marathon
Clockwise from top left:  (left to right: Blanche, me,
Carla, Lourdes, Ann Arellano, Anne Molina)

Team Eastwood after the marathon
(clockwise from top left: Chris, Jumbo, Cla, Carla, me,
Blanche, Lourdes, Sep, Anne, Honey, Zan)

Spent most of my training days with the marathon team before getting moved to the Tribe and for that I'd say the marathon team will always have a special place in my heart :)

You know I really, genuinely appreciate the company when I turn on the cheese. Heehee. I don't think it can be helped. I'd really have to say that more than making it to the Team and competing for the Club, I really appreciate the friends I made along the way. Sure the training was difficult, sure it ate up a lot of time, sure at some point I seriously considered that it was more hassle than fun but this I can say with total certainty and sincerity -- the company more than made up for it :)

Team Dinner | Dec18th | Tony's Bar | Scout Rallos, QC

 Photo op with Jury
(Blanche, me, Mel, Jury, Aret)

Scampering to be part of the photo
(Blanche, me, and Aret)

Hello, goodbye Cla
(Cla, me, and Blanche)

Everyone!
(clockwise from top left: Cla, me, Anne, Philip, Lee, Zan,
Aiza, Jury, Vangie, Carla, Aret, Melo, Blanche)

I couldn't be more thankful for the good times. I met really wonderful people who I most probably wouldn't have known if not for this event. So I am turning the cheese full on and giving out really tight (virtual) bear hugs to all the people in the Team!


I just don't feel like it's complete if I don't rattle off everyone's names so, shoutouts to Lourdes, Anne, Aiza, Zan, Carla, and Sep who together weathered the rough and tumble of coming up with a Tribe prezo. Of course to the Marathon Team Chris, Jumbo, Franz, Honey, and my favorite people Blanche and Cla who definitely made the experience extra fun :)


Sending hugs also to Peter who tirelessly showed love and support for the team, Aret who helped the team out so much it feels incomplete without her, and to Melody who pep-talked me all the way. Much love to all of you <3

Finally! The Cla+Kat photo :)

I just feel like I have to give extra homage to Cla, who is hands down my most favorite teammate :) I'd have to agree with her, it does feel like meeting an old friend. So sending out extra bear hugs to my favorite window shopping buddy, rant-buddy of choice, and my all-around favorite kid!

The event definitely is one of my favorite memories of '09. Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

Just asking

Had I not stood in as proxy for Saturday's practice, would that have meant I would still be on the Bottom 6? Three days into practice and am still hoping some really odd thing happens and brings me back to my original team.

And now, in case someone comes to stand in for the Top6, I'm not even the first pick to go back to the Bottom team :| It's not that I hate hate to be with the Tribe. I just badly want to do the marathon.

And I was the one that blew it. Well sort of. And with the help of extra flaky people and the circumstances of the team. Ohwell. I should totally get rid of the whining. Not helping. Man up, little whiny kid.

My heart's for the team. The team comes with "things." I have to roll with it.

Stories from the Muay Thai (event) front

It's 7 days away from the Main Event and I got moved from Bottom 6 aka Marathon Group to Top 6 aka Tribe. Not a promotion, though necessarily a demotion, just um, a change of roles. It's been 2 days of rehearsals with the Tribe and I still can't quite put a finger on how exactly I feel about it.

On the one hand, the girls in the Tribe have been a fun bunch. It's a group of 'showgirls' so you would not expect anything less than riotous. On the other hand, I've waited a whole year to get into the marathon group, been scared like crazy that I wouldn't get in, and been training like my life depended on whether I can carry myself through 2 hours of Muay Thai.

Briefing for the uninitiated: FF clubs send competitors to the annual club wars. For this year's event, just like the past 2 years, it's 2 groups from the same club to compete in the Muay Thai Wars. It's 6 and 6 all competing for the same club. For us, it's Eastwood.

A month ago, since the announcement of the chosen from Eastwood, both Bottom and Top groups have been training for their respective events. The Top 6 doing their thing, and us at the Bottom 6 getting as much training as we can get. And then things got muddled. A number from the Tribe backed out last minute leaving the Top 6 with only the um, Top 4. The Tribe was in a mad scramble for people to place there. Long story short, Lourdes and me from the Bottom 6 were moved to the Tribe and so now we shall be dancing.

I can't believe I shall be dancing on top of a chair (in a very suggestive way) in public on Saturday.

I'm all for it. But I'll be missing the marathon. Excuse me while I make up my mind.

Boot Love

When it comes to delicious looking shoes, Steve Madden's always got it covered. This is how I got into online window shopping. The sad part is hanggang window lang, I never get to the shopping part. Hahaha. The yummy thing about online window shopping is that you get to see everything without the tiring walking. Plus online, everything's limitless. You can go from boots, to sandals, to platforms, to other outrageous kinds of shoes without the annoying and judgy sales lady looking over your shoulder. Oh pet peeves, I think I just gave myself away.

Just recently, boots are becoming the new sneakers. I love it how you can now wear boots on a regular day without getting weird looks from your average girl on the street. Boots give any look an oomph without trying too hard.

Now, where to get the perfect slouchy flat boot. These ones I saw in Steve Madden. They're available in the online store but I don't really know if they sell these stocks locally.

This one has got the perfect boot I like down pat :D I'm picking between the grey and the brown. Grey's safe, brown has more character.

I think I'm ready for boots :)) Now just where to get them.

Dear Grey Boots, you will totally rock my deep indigo jeans and add zing to any blah shirt I will lapse and choose to wear. You shall have the honor of becoming my fab version of black Chucks.

Dear Tan Boots, the way I feel about you can be aptly expressed via an AJ Rafael original -- I Just Want Youuu :P

This other one I saw from the Dr. Martens online catalog. I

Dear Wunnerful White Printed Doc Martens, think I can pull you off :))

Hola dear boots, here I come :))

Soda Fountain Stories

My "branded" boy now has a name. A part of me wants to write it here in but the part that's too embarrassed to write it here wins. I keep Benetton boy's name to myself. The name search was tedious. Apparently, Mel commissioned the whole gym pretty much, to search for dear Benetton boy's name. I learned she asked about 5 PT's to check out Benetton boy's name and more importantly whether he is gay. Or NOT. And I am happy to announce that, 5 out of 5 said he is NOT :)) Ohwell, never an assurance but I'll take what I can. Hahaha.

My Benetton stories are stories from the soda fountain, pretty much because this is the only place we meet by chance, sometimes I hope not by chance :P So last Friday was spent checking out gym equipment with Sep and Mel. You can tell it was super fun cos I was giggling like a grade schooler the whole time. Before we hit the showers, we went to the soda fountain to hydrate. Enter Benetton boy, bagong ligo fresh from the boy's locker.

One thing I noticed was that every time I'm there in the soda fountain, he happens to be thirsty. Of course in my head, this all has malice written all over it. I like to tell myself he likes going there because I'm there. Hahaha. I was in this huddle with Mel and this Tito from the gym when he came. He got his water AND B-Boy lingered. And just before he went out, he looked back. I was just too shy to make eye contact so it was Mel he saw. I knew he smiled cos Mel had this weird Hi I Am Greeting You But I Will Just Give You This Half Hearted Smile Cos We Don't Really Know Each Other look. I just knew he looked back. He lingered and he looked back.

The fact that he looked back was the BOMB. I was smiling like crazy the whole time -- during dinner, on my drive home, and right before I slept. I tell you, I just had this stupid smile the whole friggin time. Let's see Monday what happens by the soda fountain :P

Onga naman

Photo credit: PostSecret

Humihirit lang. Although saken hindi pa "had" -- "have" pa lang. At bakit hindi.

Dear Benetton, in case you decide to not be gay (or in case you really weren't to begin with and you want to let me know you ARE straight) please read message on above post card.

Kat

aka The Girl Who Now Checks You Out After the Weird Staring Sprees You Started

Let's Call You Benetton

So there's this boy. He goes the gym. He has no friends so he hangs out with his personal trainer. That's this boy in a nutshell. And ooh, he does handstands beautifully!

Why do we care about this boy again? Well for starters he's cute. And then he's super likeable -- at least from afar :P AND AND he holds these staring contests with me.

So this boy, let's call him Benetton. A month into the staring contests and I still don't know his name. I tried asking around but to no avail. Popular gym kid, fail :P We call him Benetton because of the colorful jerseys he wears to the gym in um, Benetton colors. Think yellow and red and green and orange and sometimes two at the same time. Actually before Benetton, it was Brazil. But Benetton rolls of the tongue better :)

It all started one lazy Sunday afternoon, I was walking by the lounge after yoga class. I was scoping for friends, deciding whether to get water or orange soda or coffee and shaking off the yoga pagod all at the same time. And then there was this boy who stared. It was flattering, the stare, cos he was cute. A few Sundays after, still the same staring spree. Then Sundays turned to Mondays, then Wednesdays, and then Fridays. He finally registered into my consciousness as the cute guy who stares. And then he became the guy I look for when I hit the gym.

It's been fun. It's the kind of fun that comes with cute butterflies fluttering about in your tummy and blushing and school girl giddiness. I never get used to staring, I get giddy every single time. The fun-nest part is when you feel that someone is looking at you, you turn around and you see the one you like staring back at you. And for me, that's you Benetton :) Hahaha. I also think his uncanny resemblace to Gabe Bondoc gets me extra giddy. The real deal Gabe's all the way in Cali, but hey fret not, my very own local "Gabe" is here -- no guitar in hand but hey, he does headstands :P

I love it that he looks all nice and clean and mabango. Most of all he 'looks' smart. In the month or so of the staring contests I my have attributed so many things to create this swoon boy. In my head he's some UP Engineering dude who sings in his spare time, has weird interests like maybe collecting original albums of cool indie bands, and makes really interesting conversations. Yeah, there's a mascot in my head and it's name is Benetton.

Enter clincher. I had a nagging suspicion he might be gay. And ooh, one team mate ever so casually confirmed that he IS. Heart break.

Oh, Adulthood

It's always nice to know you're not alone in the confusion (via @timirose)

***

THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you ever met; the people you have lost touch with some of the most important ones. You also start to realize that it is truly amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is truly devastating when the best of friends become two strangers. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean, or insecure, but that they are as confused as you.


You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. Or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute you are insecure and the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved so much could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn’t seem as fun. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future, and making a life for yourself and maybe for someone else…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it in some way or another. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure the whole thing out. “Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take but by the amount of moments that take our breath away.”

—Unknown Author

If you’re going through this, know that you’re not the only one. <3>

***

I am amazed at how it turned my confusion into a poetic struggle :P But yeah, there's so much comfort in not being the ONLY one at it. Here's to the confusion and the hope that we shall all come out of this, look back, and able to say "it's all good."

I Should Totally Get Tumblr

I don't have Tumblr. YET. I know I said soon, but the queen of excellent time management couldn't find it in her to sit down and finally get signing up done. I tried a few days ago, but then came the screen name part. And I, naturally um, hesitated.

But even without a Tumblr, I still go on trawling other Tumblrs. One of my favorite ones is Timirose's. She has all these interesting random things, thoughts on the mundane, and love, and life and they are all entertaining in the right kind of way. Lemme share one of her posts that really struck a chord in me -- right amount of honesty and candor and reason. Iloveit. I am reposting it here but if you like, you may see original post here.

***

WAIT.
Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person.

Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you.

Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them.

And most of all, wait for the person who will put you up at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong.

Trust me, the wait is worth it.

***

Nice. I should totally get Tumblr. So I can follow her. So I can just reblog easier :P