why is my systems bonkers?

just got off the econ exam. can you feel any angsty air? wala diba? exam turned out pretty well :) well, at least easier than i thought. i figured i was overreacting because of the sample exam i got. Ming handed it to me so i got myself a copy. i couldn't answer anything because the questions were friggin hard. i'd one correct item per page, thas about it. but dude, how am i going to pass my third exam at that rate? you can just imagine how scared i was when i got the paper. my only consolation was that they fine tuned the grading system and you can pass with a mere hundred points. given that my two exams which were pretty bad, but can somehow take me somewhere -- somewhere a tad farther than a three, kinda gave a little room to mess up in this one.

by the third exam page, i was seriously computing for the answers, which was a good thing. cos that just meant i remembered stuff somehow. onting ego-booster :)

and now 1) am home 2) i want to sleep but 3) i can't. ansaya.but not last night when i still had two friggin chapters to finish. hay. welcome to my life -- say hello to perfect timing.

as if my bad sleeping patterns aren't enough, my hormones are playing me again. filched off stuff from the Dreamsounds Album from Limewire last night. i got Come Back and Fly Away -- and you guessed it, struggle pare. i don't have to tell you what the songs say. just imagine, Wave 89.1 songs, played at ten in the evening. hay. huway?

i just hate this feeling. alam mo yung you're perfectly fine but there's this weird something inside bugging you to find answers to questions you aren't even supposed to be asking. kamote.

i am fine. repeat after me -- i am fine. i am. convincing myself or otherwise. i am fine. thankyouverymuch.

i'll just have to sort the fotos for my keso-all-the-way belated thankyou post for my birthday :)


hello happy hormones, you are very welcome. you're paranoid hormone friends are overstaying :P

isang tulog na lang... econ naaaaaa.

the banner for today is healthy eating. *snickers*

i so know am not someone who has healthy eating habits, but dude, today's foodie lineup was something. breakfast was chips ahoy, nakuha ko lang sa foodie basket. then too hungry after that four-hour class (wt*? four hours?) grabbed cello's -- too rich, kakapagod nguyain. i don't know what happened but hindi sha masarap today. the dough wasn't exciting, tiring actually. ask me what lunch was -- went by mcdo and got fries and nuggets. ooh, plus vanilla sundae. huwow pare, healthy kung healthy. then dinner, chicken fillet swimming in two gajillion gallons of oil. ha, i feel so healthy. NOT.

delaying tactics bago mag-aral.

i wanna quit cramming for exams -- but i just can't. there's this weird phenomenon na my productivity is at it's highest a day before the friggin' test. hay. God knows i try to read in advance, but nothings gets in. well, at least thas as far as i know :P

hay. buhaaay.

-_-

natatae nko sa econ. wuh, sunday is one day away. kamote yang mga graphs and curves na yan.

i was at the econ lib earlier and i started reading at *drumroll* -- 12.30p. can you believe it, thas just 30mins after my econ lecture. 30mins was just how long i spent eating my ( free from mum) sausage mcmuffin with egg, that was only how long my lunch break was, and 30mins after the econ lecture was just how eearleh i started my 5-hour break.

the things i read -- they just dont get it. darn you Mankiw. look at what you did. i loveD econ, i really did. and now, kamote, struggle na. dude, i was reading for four friggin straight hours and i cant get past chapter eight. anubayan! argh, what can my poor memory do? :0


on a happy note, we won jeopardy in Law class earlier :) courtesy of Gia's group with Kat, Louie, and Rach. i looove winning :) kebs sa prize, ansarap ng win high :)

some Harry Potter-wannabe+me+the black and white girls+goodies from goldi :)

i said i'd know when am over only after that

now i know --i know am not

because real life's like that..

suddenly, my birthday seems so trivial. just when everything's all mapped out in my head -- how it's going to be a no fuss, no frills day and just plain happy, it just pft.

note to self: right to be angsty granted today -- overly cheesy post coming up on real birthday day :)

i am overwhelmed by a lot of things. by life in general -- and this welcome party to adulthood. i am in limbo, my age doesn't have -teen after it anymore, but am still not quite an adultadult. gahd, am twenty and i just don't feel like have done anything substantial with my life yet. i get this weird feeling of guilt about not doing good with this life that i just loaned. hay. moving on, too much drama on the eve of the birthday. eee-nough.

sa ibang emotions naman -- i was browsing through markie's page kanina and i am swept by this overwhelming nostalgia. ooh, i was reading din this survey he did, and on the question about what part of his life he wants to relive -- his answer: when he was 16. that's fourth year high school. aaah. haaay school.i just missed my old life. back then staying up late wasn't such a biggie, and tambay everyday after class didn't give me the guilt about not reading for the next day, and when i can get away with blabbing science news and stuffing all papers due with colorful cutouts and getting the perfect score for the junk we turned in. i miss that life. when everything was naive and friends were very important.

but then again, that's not saying i don't appreciate it that my life has improved from a sh**y emotional existence to now -- not yet mature but getting there. *cut me some flak, this is my blog! :P*

after eveyone else..

i finally saw Night at the Museum last Saturday. because it's super late, we had to see it SM davao. NOT. we saw it Megamall -- where half of the Filipino population was, that exact same saturday with us. we were brought to the cinema by the sea of people moving different directions. before i get to the movie, which isn't really a lot, let's get to the side-stories :P


i kinda insisted on driving to Mega. i was trying to get over my weird trauma from that freaky incident over the holiday -- alam mo yun, operating on the premise na the more i drive, the more indifferent i'll get about the trauma. anyway, i kinda felt it wasn't a good idea, cos my mum hates it when my dad turns into Backseat Driver from Hell. which he by the way did -- so yeah, just as i thought it to be, the night started out wrong. they were dissing each other like a high school couple on cool off. but yeah, a few tricks from Ben Stiller and they're friends again.


the movie wasn't brilliant. err.. it wasn't even engaging. but i like funny men, so yeah.. Ben Stiller got me. and his little son, such a darling :) the little boy was deadringer for that other little boy who played Peter Pan. long lashes, pink cheeks, and that adorable little boy air. and and.. the other boy that stopped me from sleeping -- Owen Wilson (and his broken nose.) that one is a hands-down darling :) so yeah, i guess from the look of it -- with the movie review all about the cute boys they packed in there, F.L.O.P. and thats in all caps. i figured i should've seen The Holiday with Rach, but naisip ko rin, i might get all too depressed seeing Jude Law canoodling some babe -- that and the happy couples and that thing about love. this week is my i-am-highly-volatile-dont-mention-anything-or-i-might-get-depressed :P


isa pa...after everyone, including the random talipapa vendor, has raved about the fluffy doughnut -- i just bit into my first Krispy Kreme last night. nothing spectacular really, lemme think -- it was good. what else do i say. ooh, it's mahal :P
my birthday's in two days! :P i need friends to greet me :) twenty's old -- cheer me up :P

one-two punch

i hate it that girls are emotional and gullible. i hate that i am a girl with so much issues. i hate it more that i am emotional and gullible. hay. buhay. hassle.

you need to step up, dude. shape up. excuses suck -- so don't use them. at the end of the day, you will be accountable for the things you failed to do -- which you should've done in the first place. don't wait for the time that you'll look back and be sorry because you were too busy wallowing in shallow issues you pretty much f*ed up evertyhing. again, if i need to tell me a gajillion more times -- shape up.

you know how much you hate excuses for non-performance. if you don't get you arse working, i can pretty much bet all the entries here that you're gonna pull your hair hating yourself in no time. so.. do what has to be done. NOW!

what two exams did to me

my entire weekend was a blur. pare sabaw. haven't done anything productive. saturday, woke up late then went dumdeedumdeedum the entire day. ooh, i remember! woke up to tet's message about sms-ing him if am up. a few minutes after, got a call from him. yeah, my saturday was happy :)

pretty much spent all the hours after lunch in front of the pc doing stuff -- well things i was deprived of during exams (like wasted time :P) took a bath at 3, then at 4p was off to the doctor. had my eyes checked because i was kinda fretting about the big headache the night before. happily, they turned out pretty normal. what i found out though was that -- doctors are hot :) just a random thought: smart men are really hot. i'd choose someone that's smart-hot than someone thas hot-hot any given day. (ooh, and by smart-hot, i mean cute, too! :P) there's just something about men who know what they are doing (well, like doctors.) i've been told alotta times about my personality being very dominat and that i need someone that has character that will overpower mine -- and i think the smart guy can do the trick :)

evening went with Mahal to Sammy's wake. saw all the other high school kids who were there and hmmm... some things never change. the high school ribbing was all over the place, it was really weird hearing all of those over again. it's been three years, and i just think am not used to it anymore -- it was fun though. i just think college (hhmm.. my college :P) is different -- waaaaay different.

then today! :) ata and kuya rojs' house blessing :)

we're off to sugartowne at 10a. came for lunch, but we were pretty early. we came ahead of Father, haha. their houe was really puhreetty! :) it's small and compact, perfect for newly-weds. hay, makes me wanna get my own house, too! the foto above is us eating around the time The Buzz was showing. mehn, we were eating all day! :) it was really fun. haven't spent some QT with them in a long time narin. (more fotos at >> http://thepartypooper.multiply.com/photos/album/30)
this weekend was sloth at it's finest :) haha. the break i have been soo longing for since i started reviewing for HR :P next week, bakbakan na naman.

i should be reading for marketing now...

but yeah, somehow i feel like deserve a big break since i came from these two exams -- and i really did study. and by studied i mean memorized, read til my eyes were sore, and ignored huge, splitting headaches. so un-me. it's weird that i am weirded out that i studied - because 1) this is college and by default i should be working my arse off every single time and 2) i don't know, because i really should be studying? haha. my world is maaad. . gahd, this entire week was a freakin' hard test of my ADD.

wla lang, just had to say that. the entire week of puyat is killing me. i think my sytem went bonkers cos my splitting headache from last night was something. i think we're off to the doctor later to see. am just glad i was able to sleep long today :)

moving to the emo...
passing by the sunken garden the past few days on my way home made me reallly miss it. walking past it reminds me of the afternoons we spent there just watching people -- couples cudding, sweaty soccer and frisbee players running, and all sorts of vendors trying to sell you things.i miss the laid back feel of the entire thing. we sit there talking about anything with the cold air sweeping us. sometimes we sit in silence -- and i loved it better. i love it that i can be comfortably silent and still know am not boring him. i miss those times.


i don't know if i had more time before because i had fewer school things to work on OR that i had pleenty of schoolwork and i just didn't care. OR maybe i just find time. ah, the old times. the thought makes me smile :)

someone sit with me at the sunken garden one time. please :)

PS. am loving the laidback look of this new template :)

job titles

i just came from an hour and a half long HR exam. my head's still turning from the reading marathon i've been on since this weekend. Lord, have mercy and puhleaaase am hoping to see a happy face on me when i see the exam :P *coughpwedefivemistakeslangcough?*

in the midst of exam week, and in the name of good friendship, i let the breakup (not mine) share brainspace. i have been meddling -- sorreh. but you know me, it's all in the name of rationality, and well, care and concern, and love, and friendship and.. get it? i don't even know if i did what was supposed to be done. well, now he's nuts and sad and battling with looong bouts of the D.

i've been such a sucker for rationality for quite a long time that i think i kinda forgot how it is to know what's right and stil act silly. life for me has somehow become black and white. i feel like i have lost all appetite for living life on the edge, daring myself to try the unknown, plunging head on into things without thinking. gahd, i feel like am forty! but yeah, am too preoccupied about being rational i forgot that life's supposed to be fun. don't feel sorry for me, am fine thank you. rational can be happy, too. :)

so should i feel guilty? sometimes it sucks to be the *get ready for this* best friend. i know in my heart it's all about concern and wanting this one to be better (well especially for this one who after roughly a year has still not gotten over Homesickness) i think i feel for him and what he's been through. just forgive when sometimes i morph into your mommy -- well, like now.

i prolly thought i understood you -- now i don't think i do.

i was prolly too harsh on you. i prolly forgot you had feelings too, and that you can think for your self.

i know how well you did back when it was my turn to flood you with my trash.

sorry for not being the listener that you needed -- and more apologies for mega meddling

and giving you pleenty of unsolicited how-tos. sorrry. 

because it feels best to write when you know you have vvvverrry little time...

it's almost 9 and i have three more chapters for the HR exam tomorrow. i have been reading the entire day (seriously...) and i guess i kinda overshot my reading capacity. so yeah, despite that am still here for leasure writing. you know writer's creed (and you know i made this up.. :P) write when the idea hits -- whatever it takes. haha. dig in:

• i remembered the Econ discussion leader's icebreaker question first day this sem: what's weird about you? then i lamely answered something about being weird and paranoid -- gah. now i know what i should have said! not that it would matter, haha but next time am asked, i rehearsed already. i'd say -- on my free days, when i don't have anything to go to like school, i stay in my jammies til the next bedtime. eew.
• i changed favorite Housewives! about one or two episodes ago, i realized i lovelovelove Lynette and her issues! to bits! i used to reallyreally like Susan and her life as a klutz and then - not anymore. i was thinking it was prolly because Mike loves her, or something. anyway, Lynette's got issues with her children's affection, has power struggle with her husband, has corporate dreams, and hot in a smart way :P isn't she the best? :)
• random movie tidbit: the other day Valdez asked me about our favorite line from Devil Wears Prada. in jest, Me: *from Nigel's* Tell me when your life is up in smoke. You should be up for a promotion.

life is short.
live well.
live happy.
don't forget gratitude, it will take you far :)