because real life's like that..

suddenly, my birthday seems so trivial. just when everything's all mapped out in my head -- how it's going to be a no fuss, no frills day and just plain happy, it just pft.

note to self: right to be angsty granted today -- overly cheesy post coming up on real birthday day :)

i am overwhelmed by a lot of things. by life in general -- and this welcome party to adulthood. i am in limbo, my age doesn't have -teen after it anymore, but am still not quite an adultadult. gahd, am twenty and i just don't feel like have done anything substantial with my life yet. i get this weird feeling of guilt about not doing good with this life that i just loaned. hay. moving on, too much drama on the eve of the birthday. eee-nough.

sa ibang emotions naman -- i was browsing through markie's page kanina and i am swept by this overwhelming nostalgia. ooh, i was reading din this survey he did, and on the question about what part of his life he wants to relive -- his answer: when he was 16. that's fourth year high school. aaah. haaay school.i just missed my old life. back then staying up late wasn't such a biggie, and tambay everyday after class didn't give me the guilt about not reading for the next day, and when i can get away with blabbing science news and stuffing all papers due with colorful cutouts and getting the perfect score for the junk we turned in. i miss that life. when everything was naive and friends were very important.

but then again, that's not saying i don't appreciate it that my life has improved from a sh**y emotional existence to now -- not yet mature but getting there. *cut me some flak, this is my blog! :P*