Just When I Thought There Was No Going Farther Downhill

Today, I screwed my last and only chance to redeem myself in StratMan class. Last Friday's requisite sourgraping was for good reason. We were practically made the poster kids for What Not To Do On Your StratMan Report. As if I hadn't been damaged enough with the shitty report, today my academic life decided on a suicide. On the day I did not read the case, on the day I did not write the case, on the day I did not even get to touch our paper much more read it, I get called to panel. Someone who holds my stars must really love me, they keep my lucky stars safely stashed away -- there where I can never find it.

Shitty pop culture (which I consume in obcene amounts in the form of TV and B movies) tells you its always about the big things. In happiness, in diappointments, in practically everything else, everything is pretty much measured throught the big things -- family, friends, school, career. Disappointments mainly come from failure in these areas, only. What it doesn't tell you is that failure in little everyday nitty gritties can add up to one big shitty emotional mess. That the big things can be pretty okay (and this is not saying they are going alright) but things still don't feel right.

So many things going on, it just makes me go, "Whoah, life". I am trying gratitude here, but everything pretty much going all wrong in all possible ways just makes me unable to. Sometimes, all I ask for is a little respite. I wish, You give me the small things.