The Boy Should Be All That And More (Anna Oposa version)

Isa from Everyday Isa took on a collaboration project with a handful of equally interesting bloggers on their take on "Who You Should Date". To jumpstart the collection is a beautifully written, incredibly funky and ubelievably spot on article by Anna Oposa.

I'm reposting the awesome awesome piece here. Let your heart smile and nod in agreement with me :) Great, great read - I promise you.

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On the Kind of Guy You Should Date
by Anna Oposa

Before we talk about him, let’s talk about you. You need to be the kind of person you would want to date. Get your shit together and leave the needy, clingy, broken version of yourself behind. You are not going to look for a boyfriend because you’re lonely, or worse, on rebound. You are not going to settle for who’s available and willing, because that will never last. Neither are you are going to stay in a wilting relationship just because you’re afraid to be alone and you find comfort in the familiar.

Actually, you’re not even going to look for a boyfriend at all, because you know that the universe will lead him to you when you are ready[1].

Now let’s talk about him. Not Mr. Perfect, but Mr. Perfect For You.

Thank you to Google images, as always :)

Let’s face it: looks matter. Whoever said looks didn’t matter must’ve been hella ugly. This is not to say that you will only entertain Rafael Nadal’s doppelganger, but you will seek a face that makes your heart smile when you wake up next to it. Studies also show that you end up with someone you are equal to[2].

Your family adores him. He charm will your parents by bringing you home on time and being well versed in current events. He will not always agree with your parents’ opinions, because he has his own and can hold his ground[3]. He will watch your little sister’s ballet recital even if she will just be on stage for three minutes. He will play basketball with your brothers, and will laugh when they tease him about the way he dresses or the shape of his face.

When it comes to your girlfriends, he understands that you are shared property. He will woo them by getting to know them individually. He will not put up a fight if you say you need a girls’ night out.

And when you do fight, he will admit his faults and apologize.

He’ll also point out yours to keep your ego and pride in check. He will never tell you what not to wear, how to style your hair, and limit your food intake because you’re getting “chunky.” He loves your body, with all its valleys, peaks, and curves. He will never curse at you, and he will never, ever, EVER hit you[4]. If you allow someone to do these to you, there is not only something wrong with him, but also with you.

A psychological study reveals that the most important criteria for a stable relationship are a similar outlook on religion and complementary drinking habits. This suggests that Sundays will be spent in Wine Depot. Discuss politics, philosophy, world issues, and punctuation marks there. Brain sex and intellectual stimuli are just as important as the physical kinds.

He’s the kind of man he’d want his daughter to date. This means that courtship doesn’t end when the relationship begins. It continues. He’ll bring you red velvet cupcakes just because it’s a Wednesday, text you when he wakes up just so you know he’s thinking about you, and kiss you in your sleep—or at least when he thinks you’re asleep. If you are at an event or club, he’ll have a pair of flip-flops ready, because he knows how much you whine about wearing high heels.

Whether you’ve had a bad day at work or you sealed a major deal, he’ll come armed with the best weapon: Nutella.

Since he is secure about his sexuality, he’s not homophobic and will enjoy the company of your many beloved gay friends. He doesn’t think that writing you postcards from whatever corner of the globe he’s in is “too gay.” He watches chick flicks with you and hands you tissue once you start bawling at the scene where Poypoy tells Basha, “She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best. But binalewala mo lang lahat yun… You chose to break my heart.”

And contrary to the well-loved SWV song that goes, “Can’t explain why your lovin’ makes me weak,” his love should make you STRONG. He does not have emotional baggage and issues from the past that you may find yourself unnecessarily entangled in. He has direction in his life and a purpose greater than himself[5]. He’s someone who dreams with you. The two of you must dream big, so you can grow into those dreams by chasing them together. Your relationship uplifts you, inspires you, and makes you a better person.

And while other girls wish for a happy ending, your love story never ends.

[1] See: The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

[2] In other words, wag ka masyadong ambisyosa, at wag kang magmamaganda.

[3] Besides, guys who just keep saying yes are useless.

[4] Guys like that should be shot. Twice.

[5] In your lola’s words, he is not “pahampas hampas.”