At the risk of sounding needy and whiny and pushing the envelope of being annoying, I am giving in to the needy, to the whiny, and to the annoying. As with all venting goes, there is no logic, no rhyme or reason to the sentiments - just pure, unadulterated complaining. The goal is to get all the negative out of my system and hopefully be fully rid of all the unnecessary feelings creating a ruckus in my insides.
To you, person who holds this power over me, I hate that you have the ability to ruin my day without having to do anything at all. I hate that you have this power over me. I hate it that you can single-handedly make and break my day. I hate how I was doing really well when today started and then had my happy fizzled out because of something I found out about you. I hate it that I am throwing this tantrum and you have no idea you have everything to do with it.
I hate that you see things but don't get it. I hate that I don't get the deal. I hate that I have no one to nitpick these stupid stories with. I hate that I have this circus going on inside my head. I hate that you are vague and say weird things. I hate that I actually like being around you even though you're weird. I hate how we have this wonderful thing going and my brain is hardwired to analyze and over think it, it takes the magic away. I hate that I am programmed to perceive things the way I do and it's getting in the way of many good things.
I hate that you believe all these things I think are baloney. I hate that these things you believe in get in the way of the things I believe should happen. I hate the law of scarcity and how it fucks my brain up. I hate how I have to write in cryptic prose because I can't tell anyone. I hate how this is eating at me and you don't know it.
I hate how things are the way they are right now. I hate how I am left with pretty much no choice and no control over many things. I hate how things are not going my way. I hate that I care about stupid shit like this. I hate that you merited this much blog space.
There I said it. My system can only take so many weird feelings and overly processed thoughts. Enough of the crazy for now.
One of these days I will hold you hostage Kat Cruz and refuse to let you go til you fess up! hahaha so before I resort to extreme measures, can good food/ coffee/ the promise of all ears no jugdment /won't-push-you-where-you-do-not-want-to-go-yet enough to get you talking? :P
ReplyDeleteTinnnn! Hahaha nape-pressure ako na maging interesting story to! Mukang na-up ko masyado yung ante with this story :p Tuloy na first week of Sept! Can we do Saturday? :) Excited to see you guys!
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