Konfused Kid Strikes Again

Kid's friggin confused. No wait, that's still an understatement. I'll quit the words and try the more apt -- aaargh! Okay, corny and futile.

Haven't been writing a lot cos kid's busy trying to turn life around. Moving from home-staying, just gym-going, parent-helping, non-employed kid to tax-paying, career-building, useful young kid. It's been a merry mix of crazy internet hours, more than my fill of the year's frustration, and a small, flickering glimmer of faith in the goodness of life. Hehe. You can tell I'm having a ball with the adjectives.

Long story short, prayers have been answered (whose exactly, not sure) and the crazy internet hours paid off. Sort of. Now I have the power to choose. Ulk, I hate choosing. Although I love the fact that I am on the choosing end, it still sucks, cos I really go through such difficult time deciding. I asked for a week. One more trip to dreamland, and I'll need my spine back first thing tomorrow to give out my yes (and my no). I've never been this torn.

Part of me's wishing, I was just choosing between two really smart, and cute, and charming, and funny boys. On second thought, that'd probably be as difficult. But then again, in case things don't pan out well between us, it's not gonna appear as a failed 5-month stint on my resume. But just in case the universe got it all mixed up, youcan throw the abovementioned boys my way, I wont complain :P

Back to (the whining) business, I'm really thankful for the opportunities. I think the pressure's coming from the fact that I am pinning my hopes on this one, whichever it may be. I am pinning my 3-year plans on this one. I've missed not so long ago, I can't afford to miss the next one. I've had my first chance, didn't exactly make it, and threw the chance of the first time away -- and I'd say for good reason. There's just so much resting on this one. I'd say second time's the charm and I really hope this works out well.

Hay. Tomorrow's D(ecision) day and I really pray I make the right one. Thanks P for your thoughts on this one. I think time's the last thing I considered on this decision. Grown up painssss. Times like this make me wish I were 6 and I could duck under my Mum's pits. Rawr. But I choose not to. I am an adult, and I shall make an adult decision.

Tomorrow I shall show you, I am no spineless betch.