writing itch

on top of my must-write things is the wedding :) am not such a fan of weddings, or marriage for that matter, but my cousin's wedding was really fun.
action-packed man ang week before they finallyfinally tied the knot, it was really ThankyouLord that everything went as planned. everything was in control, and mehn, food was gooood! :) loved the dress, felt all prom-ish all over again. and i haven't been dolled up in while, so it felt totally weird with my hair down and my headfull of bobby pins. and the makeup was pretty okay. weddings are good excuses to get fancy. i wish Ata and Kuya Rojs a happy life ahead of them :)

among other things sharing brainspace is going law school. the past days have seen me seriously contemplating about trying out. LAE's in a few months and asking God about making me pass if He wants me in doesn't really sound like a good deal to me. for one, i hate the idea of not going in because i din't pass -- pride issues:P more importantly, am considering the long term life repercussions of the decision.


Question to self #1: Am i okay with going for 4more years of school?
Question to self #2: Will i be a happy 40-year old lawyer?


at marami pa sigurong iba. life's hard, decisions are harder. mehn, quotable na naman! :P haha. anyway, the other day was isaw day with Neng. and because she was the friend that originally wanted to get to law school, i told her about my thoughts. we were both like, mehn, in a year we're graduating and i still don't know waht i want to do with my life. out of the blue, i said am thinking law school's prolly my way of delaying deciding about what to do with my life. me not wanting to get out of school because life's so much better here. i know i dread Mondays and how i have to get back to school work again, but inside of me i love it more because of the security it gives me. that another day means another lunch out, another case, another boring lecture, more of life's random realizations - never anything life-threatening like getting fired or whatever. real life is scaring me. and my time line says am a year away from getting there. ha, me and the weird way my brain works :P

isa pa. bible study kanina, well and the recent past weeks, was about how it is hard to live the Christian life. in my mind i was like, mehn, thas too difficult. i always say youth is an excuse to not make a stand, to go with the flow, and not be affected by adult stuf. i ended up making too many compromises. what stuck me form earlier was that God knows my struggles, and the dificulty is no excuse to just quit and pretend there's no difference. when Jesus said, do good to your enemies, they all went "increase our faith." and i realized that was something i never asked for. i always jsut shrug things away and said i can't, but i never asked to be increased in faith. well, Lord i hope it's not to late -- please increase my faith. :)