so where did my magic go again?

i miss having something to feel so passionately about. i was watching UAAP season 70 opening ceremonies earlier and there was something about sports and its fan that struck a cord. i thit home bad -- left me wishing i had something to feel very strongly about. i have written stuff on this a number of times before, and maybe until now i still haven't found that somethingsomething. back then i thought it was debate, sadly my thing fizzled out even before i could say POI. pft like that. i will find that ( and i hope real soon.)

nagkalat. big time. yan ang ginawa ng Fighting Maroons on the first basketball game of the 70th season. am no basketball fan but this season, am watching :) i have SEA30 classmates who are playing for the Fighting Maroons and shyeah, tha's pretty compelling reason to keep me glued on the tube. or maybe even Araneta :D haha.

anyway, i was probably so expentant and hopeful about the game earlier cos i feel some uncanny affinity to the team -- well the guard and the center were part of my GE class, so i guess that's some affinity. hehe. i wached the thing like from the opening ceremonies to some parts of the game. i caught the first quarter and the last. and good gahd, it took the maroons like 8mins before they scored their first basket. hrm, i figured kahit pala hindi ko classmate yung players ma-disappoint parin ako :P i realized it was weird anyway for me to expect a win (from comebacking La Salle) because the basketball "title drought" (as the anchors put it) has been on for 21 years. breaking it for the UP centennial? pretty long shot.

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on another UP note, i signed up for the UP Writers Club lst Friday. i had to walk from BA to CAL with rach (pretty far considering my feet were sore) to prove to myself i was serious about wanting to get in. Orientation's on Wednesday/Friday. am still thinking if i really want this. and again, i heard about this org from my SEA30 class -- and no, contrary to what i might have implied with this post, i HAVE a life outside of my SEA30 class :P

i was actually considering reaff-ing in DebSoc -- not on my own though. i stumbled upon Neng one fateful day at Phan on my way to my SEA30 class (nooooooo! :P) and she told me about her DebSoc comebacking status. that was late June when we met up, and i figured (just now, err maybe a few days ago) that it was weird of me to hope i could get away with reaff-ing at that point in time. she was telling me about the new DebSoc lot and how she like them as a group. that was kind of the green light to that voice inside my head that said "go." damn that voice. haha. so yeah, it was kinda a rollercosater for the next two days for me while i wait for Jess H. to tell me about my status and my chances of getting in again. and like Friendcess said, it was a weird a idea to get into there again because Neng got in -- lame idea daw, in blunt terms. i counter by saying, iba ang dynamics ng DebSoc membership. i still believe am right, but at this point it is a useless fact. suffice it to say, i wasn't able to be that "comeback kid".

i feel better now. no i didn't really throw a tantrum (at least inside me, not that i'd throw my weight around... i don't even know who:P) over not having my way. yes i was disappointed, because when Neng told me about her coming back, i was already seriously planning inside my head my plan of action for my reintegration i.e., times of tambay, my level of friendliness, and other ways to be an exemlplary non-DQ mem. it took me two days to plan the entire thing inside my head, and well, around two days to get over my grand plans :P am better now. and i figure, i probably didn't want it in the first place. Neng was an important factor in the DebSoc equation -- which isn't totally bad at all. it's just that, i probably need more compelling personal reasons for the things that i do.

and and.. i get to fulfill my combacking kid thingum in Aiesec :D i really really want to stick by this decision. no half-hearted member this time. and and.. i have two comebacking kids with me -- Rach, the Aiesec-er from Cebu (who was btw part of the Josh-and-friend Aiesec imports from Cebu) and Friendcess, the i-am-a-snob-i-am-friends-with-the-Aiesec-members-already app. i really hope things work for us :) and my commitment thingum? it's kind of being put to the test already. and yes, i rememeber telling my self it is NOT going to be easy. and my reality is telling me it is NOT. hay. i can do this :D
*that's me pep talking myself*

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i wanna see High School Musical -- the theater version now running in Meralco Theater :D i haven't seent the entire TV thing on Disney even after 20 gajillion replays. am not really so hung up on the thing. but i read this review from the Lifestyle of Phil Star yesterday that the play has one of the most creatively choreagraphed curtain calls (of all time daw -- and i kinda take his word din cos the writer's a theater person daw). i just think theater has this magic and it's all so different when you watch it there. i wanna go see :D

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hmm on a very emotional note, i miss having something/one to call home. you know, that something/one to go back to at the end of the day, your happy thought, the one you save yourself for, the one you can't wait to tell something about (ay super nagiging someone :P), err the one you love the most (ay yan pwede yang passion, like music or basketball, diba? diba?). i miss having the best friend. not necessarily MY (that one) best friend, but that idea of home. yang all of the above and more. but sometimes i don't. haha. anyone pwede? :D

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PS: it's 5p and ihaven't started on anything academic for today. i was ecstatic about jogging this morning pa naman becausei told myself i'll be more productive. so much for exercise and a better schedule :P

ooh one more. i just remembered, we ate out last night at Power Golf in Ortigas at this coffee shop that's named Firenze. it was cozy and warm and homey, it was a really pretty place. i had tiger prawns in mustard sauce and it was gooood :D i juat had to put that memeory down para may happy thought na ko :)

and and.. we went out to look for a laptop din last night. i know we were tight on the budget so i wasn't exactly excited about getting my own lappy. until i saw this black compaq presario ata yun. i love it na :D it was kinda over the range my mum set for me, but i guess a little urging from Kuya and i can get my hands on that hot thing :) malakas loob ko cos my dad was pretty convinced about getting that one. the others models kase were cheaper but on close scrutiny it gets pretty expensive din because walang OS and kulang yung memory and really huge. Lord, can i please get that black one? please? :)