Because It Doesn't Get Any More Vain Than Quoting Yourself

I have this weird habit of rereading my own writing -- school essays, blog entries, and circa-Friendster, testimonials I wrote for other people. Sometimes when I read again the stuff I wrote very long ago, I feel like reading a whole different person altogether. It's surreal and unnerving at the same time. It's always interesting to revisit different versions of yourself via the things you write

Here are some snippets from old blog entries that made me laugh at my crazy ideas, reminded me of the things I hold dear, made me cringe at my poser sophistication I thought I was pulling off, and thankfully, some that made me go, hey I'm pretty cool. Hahaha. So here it is, pure, unadulterated vanity.

• On high school: Forgive the cheese, but love then was refreshing, uncomplicated, and intoxicating. Naivete was fun and forgivable. I miss being 15 and stupid (Scratch Paper Thoughts, 28 September 2008)

• On unwittingly sabotaging relationships: Oh and on another random thought, you can't blame people who leave when you keep pushing them away, can you? It sucks when it's such a bad habit you can't shake off. Pushing people away is addicting (The Holidays, 24 December 2007)

• On screwing comfort zones: Sometimes I wish life was as easygoing as a sitcom -- booze, good friends, funny problems -- and over in under 20 minutes (Scratch Paper Thoughts, 28 September 2008)

• On taking the last minute hosting gig: I'm a secret superhero, at least in my head. Super kid saves the day (Stories from the (Delayed) Gap Months, 11 March 2009)

• On people and boundaries: You know how there's an imaginary fence you put around yourself when you're with people you just met. Inside the fence is your little comfort cloud. If the new people try to walk past the fence you drive them out by, I don't know, saying something weird or making a funny face that says, "Whoah! Stepping on the the Line!" and then it's kind of like an understood signal to backoff. And regular people know they have to back off because it's the polite thing to do (Stories from the (Delayed) Gap Months, 11 March 2009)

• On being different: Sometimes it felt like the world held this Life Orientation that everyone turned up for that I was not told about. So I walk around feeling like this kid from a parallel universe, quietly looking if there are any in my circles who are part of my people (From One Weirdo To Another, 29 January 2010)

• On crazy love for How I Met Your Mother: I would have bad days, bad weeks, and bad months when all I look would forward to was catching the latest episode. Yeah, my life got really lame sometime in my very recent history. At some point, in some twisted way I was living vicariously through Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney (Couch Potato Picks, 26 January 2010)

• On breaking the ice with writing: The thing with me is that in times when my life presents pretty interesting things to blog about, my writing shuts down. I am too happy to write. I am too mopey to write. I am too busy to write, or at least I think I am. But yeah, maybe for the most part, I take this blog a little too seriously for my own good. I don't you know, 'drunk write.' Not that I get drunk, or write in the hypothetical drunkenness. Think drunk-dialing, only this time writing. And um, non-drunk. Okay, I am abandoning that train of thought (Hullo Again, Writing, 26 January 2010)

Now that I think about it, this may have been inspired by the SNL production "Best of" series. Consider this my Best of Kat Cruz. Hahaha. And like the SNL Best of Will Ferrel, I can tell this has a Volume 2, and more!