Some Solid Cheese For Your Wednesday Morning

I heard this this morning over The Morning Rush with Chico. A listener sent in a greeting for her boyfriend:

"Happy anniversary, babe! Four years down... forever to go" :)


I'm not a big fan of the pompous shows of love (yeah, I am) but this one hit a spot. It's like there was fireworks in my insides :p All that certainty kinda makes you heave a sigh for wishful thinking. Hay.

To those with only the "forever to go" covered, goooood morninggg! :)

Crazy Stupid Love

I've seen "Crazy Stupid Love" twice in the past 2 weeks. The first time with Blanche and her friends Mimi and Koko. And the second one yesterday with Giddi. I knew I wanted to watch it the first time a saw the trailer. But I didn't think I'd like it so much it'd merit a re-watch :)

(Just a heads up, I can so tell this is gonna be a long-ass post with many pretty pictures nicked from the interwebz. Hahaha, consider yourself warned.)

Credits to Warner Brothers.

I'm not in a relationship so I'm hard pressed to think why this movie resonates so much with me. The movie in a nutshell (I will talk about the movie in painful detail, so if you still have plans of watching it and not getting any spoilers, bye bye!) is about two people who have been in a relationship for a very long time and are struggling to remember why they loved each other in the first place. Not in any way remotely resembling my current state right now, but the movie somehow managed to endear itself to me so badly.

I guess the selling point of the movie for me is the fact that it is a secret wish I've had burning in the back room of my head for a while. That out there is this someone that you will share amazing chemistry with and that there is this one person that you will just keep coming back to.

Emily Weaver (Julianne Moore) and Cal Weaver (Steve Carell) were so unbelievably convincing as the high school sweethearts that got married at 17, slugged it out together for over 25 years, and surprisingly made it. Yes, Emily wanted a divorce but that isn't to say they didn't have a great marriage. They didn't come out unscathed, but the fact that they were able to stay at the marriage for that long, and happy for a considerable time has to be something. I really think that is something big considering they probably weren't sure when they jumped the gun at 17. 

I loved the movie for the beautiful small moments. That was where the movie was great at. The conversations were heartfelt, the pain was so real, and the sentiments were so raw. I will never forget that scene where Cal and Emily meet again for the first time after Cal moved out. It was in Robbie's (played by Jonah Bobo, their 13-year old son in the movie) Parent-Teacher night.

This was awkward and painful and raw.
And when Cal said, "I miss you, Em", my goodness! my heart broke to a million pieces!

And then there was Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. I love Emma Stone! And oh my goodness just look at how beautiful Ryan Gosling is! These two can just sit onscreen for a full hour, watching their nails grow and I probaly would've gone out to watch them. They don't even need to do anything, I was sold on these two already. And then they make this wonderful story about this beautiful man and this smart redhead, I'm just so happy I want to cry.

The most amazing bed scene - the one where no sex happens :)

This story arc has been used a million times before. Beautiful stud falls hard for the amazing smart girl and they make beautiful and smart babies together. The Hanna (Emma Stone) and Jacob (Ryan Gosling) is also like that but somehow it's different.

I cannot get over how adorable that sequence is when Hanna storms into the bar and makes out with Jacob. They go home to Jacob's and everything that every other rom-com glosses over is played out in awkward details, like a parody of how everything goes smoothly in every other rom-com. Hanna asks questions like "So, how does this go like...logistically?" and the small talk kind of kills the moment but in an endearing way. 

They show the hot and steamy make out on the bed which Hanna breaks by saying "My god, your pillow forms perfectly to the shape of my head! Did you buy this in home TV shopping?". Jacob says yes and Hannah says "Continue" as if there was a pause-play button to the whole thing.

I mean look at that pretty boy. Like seriously look at him.
My gad, the scruff and the arms and that swagger. HOT DEYM.

I think the reason why I like this arc so much (which is kind of how much I like the whole movie hahaha) is because it's just so dreamy. There's this smooth-talking beautiful boy, so beautiful he can get pretty much any girl in the sack, and then he falls, and real hard, in love with a sassy lawyer. I mean just look at the guy! He's so pretty he can eat a pizza sloppily and I still think it's sexy!

I guess that's the dream. That the pretty boy indeed falls in love with the girl who made him think, and who made interesting conversation, and who made him laugh. She was pretty alright, but he fell for her because she was feisty, because she knows what she wants, and she was honest it was awkward. Yeah yeah, I think I'm giving too much of my secret hopes and dreams.

This movie will go down as one of the most heartfelt, most adorable, most heartwarming love stories of all time. That things aren't perfect but that's no excuse not to make the most of it :)

Pardon The Ranting, Venting Required Today

At the risk of sounding needy and whiny and pushing the envelope of being annoying, I am giving in to the needy, to the whiny, and to the annoying. As with all venting goes, there is no logic, no rhyme or reason to the sentiments - just pure, unadulterated complaining. The goal is to get all the negative out of my system and hopefully be fully rid of all the unnecessary feelings creating a ruckus in my insides.

To you, person who holds this power over me, I hate that you have the ability to ruin my day without having to do anything at all. I hate that you have this power over me. I hate it that you can single-handedly make and break my day. I hate how I was doing really well when today started and then had my happy fizzled out because of something I found out about you. I hate it that I am throwing this tantrum and you have no idea you have everything to do with it.

I hate that you see things but don't get it. I hate that I don't get the deal. I hate that I have no one to nitpick these stupid stories with. I hate that I have this circus going on inside my head. I hate that you are vague and say weird things. I hate that I actually like being around you even though you're weird. I hate how we have this wonderful thing going and my brain is hardwired to analyze and over think it, it takes the magic away. I hate that I am programmed to perceive things the way I do and it's getting in the way of many good things.

I hate that you believe all these things I think are baloney. I hate that these things you believe in get in the way of the things I believe should happen. I hate the law of scarcity and how it fucks my brain up. I hate how I have to write in cryptic prose because I can't tell anyone. I hate how this is eating at me and you don't know it.

I hate how things are the way they are right now. I hate how I am left with pretty much no choice and no control over many things. I hate how things are not going my way. I hate that I care about stupid shit like this. I hate that you merited this much blog space.

There I said it. My system can only take so many weird feelings and overly processed thoughts. Enough of the crazy for now.

How would you tell your crush that you like them?

Try to subtly insert in conversation. Casually but jokingly say something to the effect of, "Hey, that's why I like you!" or some lame-r/cooler permutation of that. Wait and see how repulsed/delighted they are at the statement. Jokes are always half-meant, remember? Their reaction's always a good gauge whether you should tell them you like them or keep your feelings inside you. Like forever.

Yes?

Photo credit: A Softer Word

The Boy Should Be All That And More (Anna Oposa version)

Isa from Everyday Isa took on a collaboration project with a handful of equally interesting bloggers on their take on "Who You Should Date". To jumpstart the collection is a beautifully written, incredibly funky and ubelievably spot on article by Anna Oposa.

I'm reposting the awesome awesome piece here. Let your heart smile and nod in agreement with me :) Great, great read - I promise you.

***
On the Kind of Guy You Should Date
by Anna Oposa

Before we talk about him, let’s talk about you. You need to be the kind of person you would want to date. Get your shit together and leave the needy, clingy, broken version of yourself behind. You are not going to look for a boyfriend because you’re lonely, or worse, on rebound. You are not going to settle for who’s available and willing, because that will never last. Neither are you are going to stay in a wilting relationship just because you’re afraid to be alone and you find comfort in the familiar.

Actually, you’re not even going to look for a boyfriend at all, because you know that the universe will lead him to you when you are ready[1].

Now let’s talk about him. Not Mr. Perfect, but Mr. Perfect For You.

Thank you to Google images, as always :)

Let’s face it: looks matter. Whoever said looks didn’t matter must’ve been hella ugly. This is not to say that you will only entertain Rafael Nadal’s doppelganger, but you will seek a face that makes your heart smile when you wake up next to it. Studies also show that you end up with someone you are equal to[2].

Your family adores him. He charm will your parents by bringing you home on time and being well versed in current events. He will not always agree with your parents’ opinions, because he has his own and can hold his ground[3]. He will watch your little sister’s ballet recital even if she will just be on stage for three minutes. He will play basketball with your brothers, and will laugh when they tease him about the way he dresses or the shape of his face.

When it comes to your girlfriends, he understands that you are shared property. He will woo them by getting to know them individually. He will not put up a fight if you say you need a girls’ night out.

And when you do fight, he will admit his faults and apologize.

He’ll also point out yours to keep your ego and pride in check. He will never tell you what not to wear, how to style your hair, and limit your food intake because you’re getting “chunky.” He loves your body, with all its valleys, peaks, and curves. He will never curse at you, and he will never, ever, EVER hit you[4]. If you allow someone to do these to you, there is not only something wrong with him, but also with you.

A psychological study reveals that the most important criteria for a stable relationship are a similar outlook on religion and complementary drinking habits. This suggests that Sundays will be spent in Wine Depot. Discuss politics, philosophy, world issues, and punctuation marks there. Brain sex and intellectual stimuli are just as important as the physical kinds.

He’s the kind of man he’d want his daughter to date. This means that courtship doesn’t end when the relationship begins. It continues. He’ll bring you red velvet cupcakes just because it’s a Wednesday, text you when he wakes up just so you know he’s thinking about you, and kiss you in your sleep—or at least when he thinks you’re asleep. If you are at an event or club, he’ll have a pair of flip-flops ready, because he knows how much you whine about wearing high heels.

Whether you’ve had a bad day at work or you sealed a major deal, he’ll come armed with the best weapon: Nutella.

Since he is secure about his sexuality, he’s not homophobic and will enjoy the company of your many beloved gay friends. He doesn’t think that writing you postcards from whatever corner of the globe he’s in is “too gay.” He watches chick flicks with you and hands you tissue once you start bawling at the scene where Poypoy tells Basha, “She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best. But binalewala mo lang lahat yun… You chose to break my heart.”

And contrary to the well-loved SWV song that goes, “Can’t explain why your lovin’ makes me weak,” his love should make you STRONG. He does not have emotional baggage and issues from the past that you may find yourself unnecessarily entangled in. He has direction in his life and a purpose greater than himself[5]. He’s someone who dreams with you. The two of you must dream big, so you can grow into those dreams by chasing them together. Your relationship uplifts you, inspires you, and makes you a better person.

And while other girls wish for a happy ending, your love story never ends.

[1] See: The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

[2] In other words, wag ka masyadong ambisyosa, at wag kang magmamaganda.

[3] Besides, guys who just keep saying yes are useless.

[4] Guys like that should be shot. Twice.

[5] In your lola’s words, he is not “pahampas hampas.”

Choose To Live A Life That Matters

I lifted some beautiful words from the Francis Kong website archive of articles. Here he quotes Michael Josephson of Character Counts. A reminder of the real things that will matter.

***

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got(,) but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance, but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.