Sleepy, Blissfully Happy Silence

Thank you BlindThoughts for the image

I Hope Our Kids Are As Weird As Us

Photo credit: PostSecret

No kids on the way, no plans of kids in the near future, and I guess most relevant of all is that, no baby daddy -- at the moment :p

I saw this as the first postcard on this week's PostSecret and I thought it was a cute thought. I want that for me. The hope is that I marry a guy that's sweet and smart and funny and quirky :) I want him to be the right amount of quirky I'd want our kids to be weird/quirky/kooky/characters like us, too. This is a pretty faraway thought from my reality today but it's cute to toy with the idea. Makes me smile thinking about it.

I know my Lord knows my heart. I know I am made for love. I know that one day I'll be given my gift and it'll be (quirky) and super awesome :) Can't wait!

Wrestling with Restlessness

I'm crazy restless and I don't know why. Like i tweeted, I have this weird hankering for something I can't seem to put a finger on. I know, labo. I can't stay put and I I feel like am wrestling with this weird need to take off. Hmm.

Not the best feeling in the world. It's like there's this something I need and I can't do anything to fill it because I don't even know what it is. Wow, that's a boatload of crazy.

What Do You Like In A Boy?

"What do you like in a boy?"

If I were given a hundred pesos for every time this question is thrown at me, I can probably get me new a iPhone. Haha that's a stretch, but you get the drift. When people find out that I'm single and not dating, they feel compelled to run up their list of boys and try to match them to the boy that I will be describing.

The thing is, every single time I am thrown this question, I find myself just looking out the window and spacing out. The words choke me out. (It doesn't really help that on one of the times I was asked this, the boy I wanted to describe was seated across me, so I most definitely choked. If that's not awkward, I'm not sure what iz). For some reason, I am drowned in embarrassment and I feel a little too naked to be talking about THE boy.

So this time, I'm writing this down. Next time I get asked, I will come prepared. Also, this is me throwing it out there that this is THE boy that I like. I trust in the powers that will eventually (hopefully sooner than later) bring me and this boy together. Naks!

Photo Credit: bradley.chattablogs.com

Let's get to the boy in question. Even when I choked the last time, this much I was able to say - he has to be tall, and taller than me even when I'm in heels. Broad shoulders are a must and hopefully he is well-built, too. I remember having this conversation with a friend about how big girls always like men that are bigger than them. I think it's this perennial paranoia that has to do with your your boy being to envelope you and make you look like a small, can-pass-for-a-damsel-in-distress kinda girl.

I want a scruffy boy. Much as this is getting all nit-picky, since I'm throwing this out there, then might as well. I want THE boy to be good looking enough to pull off the "dirty look" -- requisite 5 o'clock shadow and that easy, I-didn't-think-about-this-but-I-look-put-together kinda style. Heee. Oh, and he has to look smashing in a pullover. (Okay, I think the boy I like now is falling off from my THE boy list! :p haha)

My boy has to be able to talk well. I am sucker for great conversations and if you can't give me that, that would be a deal breaker. I've tried hanging out, not necessarily on a date, with really pretty boys who can't carry their own on small witty banters and I really found myself turned off. Apparently, I can tolerate less-pretty-but-witty than I can tolerate pretty-but-no-wit. Great conversations are a must.

I also want someone who is someone his family and friends will vouch for and say is a good person. I've known quite a lot of people and those generally well-vouched for are usually the ones that have a good grip on their values. I can't be with someone who does things just because they're cool. I guess 24 (or older) is just too old to be doing things that way. I need someone who can stand his ground and who knows, or at least has a good idea, of why he's doing what he's doing.

I need someone fun and can be spontaneous. I've lived all my life always walking on the safe side and always being scared of breaking the rules. I'm too scared of breaking the rules I end up going about day in and day out just thinking about the rules. I'm not saying I want someone who is a rule-breaker. What I'm saying is I want someone who knows the rules, knows how to play the rules, and knows how to toe the boundaries. Because yeah, if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space :p

I want someone that's fun to travel with. Or better yet, I want someone that's just fun to be with.  I know I'm having fun when I have no care for whatever's around me or wherever I am. If things around me stop to matter, then I'm having the best time :) I need someone who can make me feel that.

I need someone who wants to take care of me. That's never really been my strong suit but I'm working on it. So in the meantime that I'm a work in progress, I hope THE boy takes care of that department. And well, even when taking care of people becomes my strong suit, I still want THE boy to take care of me.

There will be more things I like in a boy. Maybe one post just isn't enough :p Oh, and before I forget, THE boy's hand should feel just right to the hold. This I don't know how to describe, but I'm pretty sure when we get there, I will just know :)

Waking Up Happy

Today I woke up happy. And it felt gooood. Haven't known this feeling in a while and I'm all too happy to be reacquainted.

No, there's no boy making me wake up happy. Neither is there, I don't know, a new car perhaps, making me wake up happy. Corny as this may sound, I got me new perspective :)

It's amazing how just a change in perspective makes a world of a difference. Now I'm drunk with possibilities, reeling from all good things that all this positivity is bringing in, and excited at all the great things I am looking forward to. My world just opened up to a whole host of many many things wonderful.

I am grateful and my heart is filled with joy. I am perennially smiling. And again for the first time in a long time, it's not to hide some pocket of loneliness I feel inside but an actual manifestation of happiness. I am amazed at the downpour of love and life and laughter from new and old friends alike simply because I opened myself up to it.

Apparently sometimes, you need to say yes a bit more :)

In the World of Pretty Boys, There are The "Adam Levines" and the "Zach Braffs"

I was watching an old old SNL ep with Zach Braff and musical guest Maroon 5. As I was ogling Adam Adam Levine and thinking how pretty he was during the musical number, a thought came to me -- in the world of pretty boys,  there are "Adam Levines" and there are "Zach Braffs". (It is 1:19 AM as I write this,  so I won't take offense if you consider this drunken conversation hahaha)

The "Adam Levines"

I was never a big fan of Adam Levine or Maroon 5. I don't follow the band but I kinda like their songs. (It's pop, what's not to love.) It doesn't hurt either that the front man, the very pretty Adam Levine, isn't bad to look at. Okay, that's a gross understatement. Look at that face.

Look at that face. I mean seriously look at that face.

But I never really paid attention to Adam before. Then Maroon 5 came on the SNL ep I was watching and that's when it dawned on me how frackin pretty this Adam Levine boy is! I usually fast forward through the musical numbers, but this one I played to watch. (So far I've only not forwarded through: Florence + The Machine, Chris Brown, Cee Lo Green and Jessie J.) I watched the musical number not necessarily because Adam was so good a singer (but I'd have to admit, his voice is iconic, you just know it's a Maroon 5 song)  but because he was just beautiful. Chiseled face, omg that pretty mouth, piercing green eyes and wait for it... killer abs. He's the stuff adonises are made of. He's so pretty you'd wonder if he actually has to look at girls to find pretty.

These are the "Adam Levines". Pretty pretty faces that make for "omg's" that have to be said out loud. I get the pretty but for some reason the "Adam Levines" don't really have an appeal to me as a girl. I find them uh, too beautiful.

And then there are the "Zach Braffs".

The "Zach Braffs"

And then there are those that are cute and not too ripped but are adorable and funny. Since this is the world of pretty boys, I don't mean the Jonah Hill-types nor the Michael Cera-types. I'm talking about the grown up thirty-ish men, with the lopsided grin and the imperfect face. And they're adorable because they're funny.

Zach has this perennial "surprised" look with the blue eyes.
Oh, but when he starts talking? That's my boy.

They're the ones that make you think they're the kind of boyfriend that'd say funny things to you and make funny faces and adore you because you laugh at the their jokes. They're pretty but not so pretty so they feel like they have to compensate by being funny and nice. You get what I mean?

And I've always always adored the "Zach Braff" types. The pretty boys that don't think they're pretty but know that they're funny. They're two notches cooler than the Ted Mosby-types that are a little lame because they're cheesy. The Zach Braff-types are kinda lame too but that's what makes them so endearing. This SNL ep I caught made me think Zach Braff was really funny. Now I kinda wanna watch Scrubs.

(Okay, if you've gone this far on this post, you must be really bored. This post doesn't make any sense even to me hahahaha)

P.S. Random sleepy Saturday night thought: I wonder where my Zach Braff is. I just hope he's kinda just around in one of my circles. I honestly don't like anyone (like a boy)  at all. Is that even normal? Oh, but I don't like girls. I like boys, there's just no boy I like at the moment. And by boy, I mean real live boy that doesn't apear on TV that I can high five any time I want. Mmmkay, I think that's enough word vomit for now.

busy swooning

its three freakin years. i care about that. am such an ohmigahd-am-older-than-you-are-junkie. i dont dig short men. i dont dig young(er) men.

and then, just because, i now dig short men. and *gasp* dont give a deym (erm, not really. just for the poetic shxt) about whether i am or you are older.

this is just crazy. must get back to the OpMan paper. see? another point right there -- just when i am busy with my "grown up" subjects like Operations and Brand Management, someone's busy with Math2 and Literature for the Pedestrians or whatever. you see. you see.

all wrong. but something in my brain shuts this thing up and says, sorry cannot process request, busy swooning. oyeh, this thig is nuts. just nuts.

just needed to channel some giddy energy into writing. okay, signing off. now. babay :)


[/edit]: 07.09.07 at eleven in the morning -- some wise words from Ne-yo and Rihanna: And I can’t stand you, Must everything you do make me wanna smile, Can I not like it for awhile... wow, how apt.

one UAAP Thursday :)

this post really was for last Thursday. i was giddy about going home and writing. what i didn't realize was that the adrenaline high would last me only up to the dinner table stories. i went up, sat by the computer and started typing. i wasn't even halfway done with my first paragraph when my eyes started giving up on me. i spent about an hour stressing out about trying to keep my eyes open before it finally dawned on me that it is sleeping time. so i give in :)

and today, this is me telling my UAAP story from blurry memories of Thursday.

okay, i cut two classes to get to watch the 2p and the 4p game. i had to skip SEA30 at 1p and 175 at 4p. and for the first time in my entire college existence, i ditch class to see the basketball team play live... erm, among other reasons :P haha. ive never really cut class for anything non-value adding... erm, i figured i never really cut class. not that am a sucker for perfect attendance (um, i partly am) but its majorly because i hate the guilt of not going to class. i weirdly get that all the time. but Thursday was different. when Ming asked me if shes getting tickets, i just said yes :)

for one, i've been dying to see a game live, practically any game. it was a pretty good thing am classmates with some of the team, at least theres some semblance of a relationship tying us together, other than school spirit. haha. and yeah, am getting pretty old (at least in UP's sight) -- am fourth year, graduating in six months' time and all that. so when Ming told me about watching live, i said, this is it :)

we met up at 1p right outside my SEA30 class, waited a wee bit for her dad, and off we were to Araneta. we went in and found our places in the patron area (oyeh, a few days' worth of scrimping can actually go get you a patron ticket) and wow, there were a grand total of seven people in our side. we were so recognizable from the court and i think i have some classmate thinking i actually cut class to watch them play. which erm.. as much as i hate to admit, was really the (pathetic) case.

and then again, like a bad record on perpetual repeat, UP lost its tenth game to the FEU team. ohwell, no surprises really. it just bugs me that i actually shelled out a few hundred pesos to watch them... do what they do in the court -- please dont make me tell :P and again, howell. and then we had to stand up for the school hymn. imagine getting beaten by the basketball team and overpowered by half of the Araneta all cheering for FEU. and then two of us had to stand up in the sea of Ateneans who were badmouthing our team -- to sing our hymn. okay okay, i love UP. i love UP. i love UP. i love UP.

anyway, the Ateneo v UST game kinda made up for the pathetic twenty-point losing margin by the team i actually went there for. the Kirk Long shot will go down in history :) [edit] 9.22p, 6 september: i figured i was writing about some player that dint even played for the Ateneo. i apparently put "Jeffrey Long" in my post instead of the real "Kirk Long". haha, laughtrip talaga to. thanks Ming for pointing that out to me :P [/edit] it was amazing, just amazing :) imagine, Ateneo was playing with an at least ten-point losing margin from the first to the third quarter. and then second minute fourth quarter, they decide it was time to win. the teams were edging each other out by a mere point from the second minute down to the last. and then Long made that shot. 71-72, i shall never forget that game :)

maybe it was the adrenaline rush or maybe pressure from the crowd, sometime into the second quarter i find myself shouting the "go! Ateneo! one big fight!" cheer. and then Ateneo wins, i pump my fist into the air and scream my lungs out. haha, it was weird. it really felt odd. yeah, it was a good game and all, i take that back, it was a GREAT game -- but it wasn't MY school. howell, the school spirit shxt wont shake off :)

some fotos from the jump:

before leaving for the Araneta *getting dagger looks for getting to watch live basketball games*

fan girl-ing with JC Intal

with the one who thought of going to see UAAP :)

some "other" thoughts on basketball: i think Chris Tiu is sucha beautiful kid. howell yeah, beautiful boy, but i wont say that. kid sounds non-predatory, and that the only way i want to sound like. Ming likes Chris a lot (maybe wants to marry him :P) so i talk about Chris in a fascinated i-dont-like-him-in-"that"-way kid of way.

from what i heard from Ming, he's filthy rich -- and mean feeeltheeeh rich *cough* he owns a freakin hotel and real freakin estate *cough* -- a very smart boy, as in i-am-magna-standing-and-i-am-ME-in-the-Ateneo kind of smart, plays basketball ( gahd, he is THE Chris Tiu), has a pretty family, is an all-around good boy who everyone likes loves to bits, and well, he leads the team to prayer after a basketball win. i mean, there are boys like that today? maybe he's fictional :) haha.

P.S. i was about to think i actually got lucky with my Thursday cuts because i found out that 175 dint hold class. and then i find out just now that my SEA30 class is reporting on Monday in groups. now i dont have a group, and i dont have a report. wow.

P.P.S. i thought it was really uncanny how Ming and i went about our identification of "the families" when we were at the Araneta. first game i ever so casually said, "Ming, ayun yung mommy nya sa southeast. shes sitting with the little brother. ang cute no?" and Ming nods her head in acknowledgment. second game and it's Ming's turn. she goes, "Ate, yun yung mommy nya sa right, in the blue shirt and jogging pants. ooh, and that's his dadin the collared shirt. you know what, they watch him all the time" and i smile at the cute thought. that pointing-the-family-of-the-ums was weird, now that i think back on it. what's weirder was that we didnt find it weird then. haha :) hay, the things that women do :) labyu Ming, looking forward to another game live :D