my eyes are sore. they're puffy. they hurt.

Mark Lim was at the CAP TAJA earlier. he talked about how he got his promotion in three months, why going for non-traditional fields is a good idea, and his love for the academe and debating. ooh, and his french. i hate it that he loves what he does so much, he tells us it's difficult but it comes off poetic. i get issues, and they're tiring -- not the least bit poetic.

ooh, and he remembered me as this kid who "i think comes from the Debate Society". he pointed at me and started the UPDS shameless plug and he gets away with it. and then at this point in time i feel regret welling up inside me. and then i ask myself why my life has always been the things that i am scared of. i follow up with the question on why some people learn love and commitment and loyalty so thick you can touch it. and then i start wondering why i cant. i went on to conclude that, err... it was pointless, aimless ranting about life and the freaking way it works.

***

PMS has just gone from bad to worse. i figured iw as askign myself whether this was PMS really... OR quarter life crisis. am twenty. am aimless. and am freakin angry. i cant let this monster eat me up. i want to be the bigger person, but it's harder than anything.well yeah whoever said life will let you get away unscathed.

i must go. my eyes really absofreakinlutely hurt. and i have to finish that 177 paper. which is due tomorrow at 8. and i dont have ink. ill print my homwork on fuschia ink. wow, thanks. what was the last thing i needed.