almost there but not quite

sembreeaak. so close you can ALMOST touch it, the deadlines are just getting in the way.

i feel really weak. maybe its the cramps, first day today. maybe its the lack of sleep, all cumulative puyat for the entire sem. and gad, you should see the baaaad breakout on my face. freaky. i feel even weaker thinking about the reqs keeping me from MY sembreak. and it doesn't help that my productivity levels are running way lower than my usual. the feeling kills me.

so today i slept in two bedrooms. not really slept, more like stayed in beds not my own. haha, no am no promiscuous person. ew. we (Rach, Diane and Friendcess who reluctantly spent 160php for cab fare -- and i say i really feel for youuuu *cough* broke hits sembreak *cough*) were at Daren's this morning for our 198 film analysis. at home is an understatement, haha. and you wouldn't believe what we watched -- War of the Worlds. okay i get it, not exactly arsty farsty-sounding nor indie enough to qualify for film analysis, just you wait for our paper and you'll see we will make smashing sense of this commercial crap. did anyone say cultural analysis on white supremacy? oyeh, were hot like that :) and before i forget, thanks Daren for picking us up and then bringing us back again -- you're the best ride, although sometimes i have to close my eyes when youre driving :P erm, well you don't have to know that :) i wont take it against you -- the house, the room, the fine line between privacy and invasion of it, the kick ass gadgets that left us drooling, and well maybe the bag of chips, we're all gooood :) thanks thanks.

we headed to Rach's after. the next bed i harassed, haha. i had bad cramps. baaaaad cramps. thanks for the semi sleep in and the paracetamol. we tried discussing the film, but let's just say... um, we weren't really successful. the happy part was, everyone was so sabog nobody even noticed we weren't making any progress. we were all too busy with our lunches and whatever elses, we all missed the part we were supposed to be doing 198 :p sorry diane :)

and then the happiest part of all -- Gossip Girl! :D gad, we ended up watching 3 episodes. its just the funnest :) now we have new friends. say hi to B, S, Nate and Dan. Dan's the ultimate, think Carev but nerdier. to me that just means -- h-o-t-t-er :D teehee.

if in case anyone's wondering what I've been up to lately: yesterday morning was spent cramming my SEA30 paper and fxcking up my bibliography. and then at 11 fidgeting my way through public transport rides with one hour to spare to be in school at 12p. just one thing from mee -- beating deadlines suck. i ran from Balara to PHAN. dude, not hot. panting with unkempt hair is so not cool, especially if you're not in gym clothes. if i had my way i wouldn't -- but since sir told us about options such as passing the paper on time OR dying, i knew i had no choice. and then he added a really sweet PS to that -- i shall get the papers by twelve sakto. if you swing by at 12.01, kahit umiyak kayo there's no chance i'll take your paper in. and i tell myselft okay, you, ma'am have NO choice.

and then after my bout with my Olympian 400-metre dash, i get a "shit! katC" from Rach. i wondered what i did to her until i read the next line which says "i just woke up" -- at 12 noon. okay so she totally missed the 10a meeting. i head to her house and find her and her sister in their bath towels, trying to start their day at 12 noon. and by this time i was thinnking, maybe we've taken the friendship to the next level with the popping in at houses the homeowners are taking their baths, haha. and then lunch at Tapa King, Libis -- finished up at 2p with little reragrd for the poor soul who's been waiting for us at Starbucks (the one beside Alchemy :P *wink wink*) since 10 that morning. it doesn't hurt that we were eating next table to the ex-Ateneo boys Tenorio, Gonzales and Fonacier. but Rach and Jan didnt know so i squeal in secret :P

and then Starbucks. we spent so long there we were seriously thinking the baristas were checking out our orders. dude, we are so freaking broke. i ordered a drink and fancy bread for staying power and further damage to my meager budget. i think i raised my sugar levels by a hundred points by trying to look nice in Starbucks -- by throwing all my money away for my diabetes investment. hay, the things you have to do for a college degree. anyway, the meeting productivity level was below sea level. PV and i think the baristas were listening to our conversations. but yeah, discounting the fact that we actually had to have output, yesterday was pretty fun :)

and then i get fetched to check Ewood out with my Uncle. the fam is taking him around. looking for hotels and other things to check out when Tita Connie comes around. and then two seconds into Ewood, i find out we're watching a movie. my head was throbbing so you can imagine the torture. it was a low budget venture where retakes werent allowed, hence the bad punchlines and timing, so you can imagine more. and i just have to say, Pinoy film producers think the Pinoy audience have brains smaller than the budgets of their films. hullo, anyone heard of witty dialogues? but heck, i can forgive the movie -- Pokwang saved the day :)

and the other day i remember, Monday that was again spent in Starbucks -- no wonder am so broke. we tried (please see operative word, it says "tried")to study for the 198 essay exam for Tuesday. wow, Rach and i ended up watching an ep of Grey's season four. it was so wrong, it felt good :P hay, why does stalling feel this goooood.

i think i know this sem's theme -- stalling. um, no make that STALLING.

i think i shall not write for 198 tonight. (yes, that subject requires so much, it took half my lifetime to complete the reqs). i shall go to sleep now. g'night :)

good days, bad days and in betweens

hola. i just woke up. happy wednesday morning (plus a little stiff neck) :D this entry is long overdue ( yes everything's just overdue -- along with my MME fotos :P). but before we get to that, my dream from earlier was jut too freaky to pass up writing.

i woke up at 7-ish, but on Wednesday mornings, it's just obscene to wake up that early, so i go back to sleep. i didn't know i'd get more obscene images from sleeping again. but as much as i'd hate to admit, it was kinda cute. please note that no names shall be mentioned, so youre guess is as good as anyone else's. haha, i dont think am telling :P its too cute, it's yucky :D

i forget how the dream started. what i rememeber is that we were in some bad spinoff of Amazing Race that entailed too much running inside this posh place. Jamie was there, and Ming, and someone i really like (who ended up boarding this really fly gold convertible at the end. wow), someone i dont really like, and a handful of extras, including a flock of salesladies. i couldnt make it out whether we were in a mall or a hotel -- but that's immaterial. anyhoo, we went on with the race, endless running and giggling. and then the last part. for some weird reason we ended up climbing this wall to get to the final gathering of all the participants because *dont look at meee* it was raining (ftw? yeah, we climbed the wall because it was RAINING. even i dont get it, so dont ask me). ooh, i also finished the game first but for again some weird reason, i didnt have the booklet youre supposed to have stamped at every station. so i dint win.

on with the wall climbing, some of the contraptions started giving in. so like a hundred of us stuck to the wall started panicking. the climbing walls part didnt entail any bungee ropes or anything, we were just clawing our way to the top. not exactly the way Spidey did it, there were these metal/ropey structures that looked like scaffoldings and we were making our way up with those. i dont know how we got out, basta we all ended up safe on the ground. weirdly though, when we got down and it wasnt raining anymore.

and it just gets weirder. this other someone, the one mentioned earier that i dont really like, started doing things, acting like we actually were friends -- and no, not normal friends, the other kind of friends, the kind you'd have to italicize. this person started putting an arm around me, and then later hugging me in front of everyone. and no one was cheering, as if it was the most normal thing for him to do. this part i was apprehensive, taking the hands off of me. and then the next thing i knew, we were talking like friends with this person's hands on my waist and my hands on this person's waist -- and wasnt embarrased. in the dream i was weirdly happy about this entire thing. and then i woke up.

***

on with the ovedue entry.

i think all the anger and the badmouthing caught up with us. is was Poopoop with a capital P. mabe getting away with an ill-prepared report one time is good. going for another one and hoping to get away with it again is pushing it too far. i dont really know what happened, it just pft-ed in front of our noses. really baaad.

you know you're on a bad report when people offer "charity comments". i dont know if you notice, but when reports crash, the kind classmates raise their hands and defend you from the others who grandstand at your expense. you hear things like "in defese to the group..." and youre not even friends. its just pathetic -- not the charity comment-er, but the group with the baaad report. it kinda means you cant fend for yourself, someone has to save you. it's an ego thing. thank you to the charity comment-ers, but this group has tons of pride issues so we cant muster appreciation at the moment.

sorry to my two-crushed egos hoping to get solace from this report. i know you guys had a really tough time from the report the day before, and i somehow had a hand at making you guys feel better -- at least through a smashing report. i feel sorry i didn't deliver, but i feel more sorry that i lost that chance to make you guys fel better. i knew you guys were counting on me to keep the thing afloat, but i just lost it. when i crossed my arms after the first comment, maybe that was me giving it up already. i feel really bad, sorry.

its jsut tough when you now you've managed through so much and you get by. and then all of sudden you just feel really helpless because you are. nope, am not making BS-ing a regular thing, it's just that beofre, i manage to make sense. it just ticks me off that just when i badly neede to make sense, because my life depended on it, i just fail miserably.

okay that's the overdue baaad day. on with the good. *shake shake shake off* haha :D gia and kat were (not very subtly) hinting me about why i should go to culminight. they said i'd get my much-need ego boost from the dinner, i'd forget about my crushed ego. and they were pretty right :P

yay to the All Stars! :D woot! woot! thing is, i really seriously thought we wouldn't win, so until i got my hands on the havaianas (and the undies, haha) i really dint let the win sink. cheers to Vicks Throat Drops! (sucha bitch to pronounce, but heck got us a champion cert! :D)

fotos from the MME jump:

with Trina, my favorite teammate :D

certificates from the MME heads *and i learn its Ate Gru and NOT Glu* :)

oyeh All Stars :D weeee, we did it!

were missing AC here. sayang.

with Rach, who came for moral support :D thankyouuuuu :)

***

am not sucha fan of last day parting words. but i just learned to love Ma'am Talavera so much, i didn't really care. her word stuck like glue, and i think i shall be keeping them with me. and i quote, "find a job that you love, and be there where you will have the most impact". and since those words, i figured, i shall never settle again :)

P.S. i got in for Writer's! :D am up for induction this Friday, and it creeps me out really. haha, pretty scary.

free-days are good days :D

friday free day :) weee!

i was dreading this day so much since wednesday cos i have two big things due today. one's the comparative paper on the three 105 speak ups (it kinda sounds like an intellectual paper, but actualy reaction paper lang yan) and the big presentation for cross-cultural. the paper, i can handle. onting puyat lang naman yun keri na. but the presentation, hohum. we've been trying to make sense of the French presentation but we just couldn't make it work. weird kase yung mga gusto ni ma'am and err.. maybe hindi pa talaga kame nakareserach.

so it was a reeaally good thing the SK reg had to do this whole day off for everyone. weee! thanks Malacanang :)

***

am loving BA now :) and it's more than the school-spirit kind of love (after Stratmark and Bacbacan this Satruday). it started with 177 yesterday morning. the discussions are making sense and they make me think. and i got that "excelleeeennntt idea" approval from sir. yes, enough to make anyone's day (or maybe even week) sunshine-y :D and then for 175, as if my hapy fix wasn't enough, we get a "this class has taken case discussion to a whole new level" from ma'am Tubianosa :) weee!

** *

as if in serendipity, i was making my out of BA when i spot Neng from the other side of the street. she was pointing at me and then immediately crossed and went to me. we just went to econ and then went home. it was riotous. we were just laughing, and oyeh i still miss you Neng :) and and.. thanks for the libre :D

she was telling about my happy aura and how it doesnt seem superficial. about how i look reeally happy :) i must be, well yeah even after that bad bout with PMS, i think about it and am actually really okay. thanks Neng for reminding that i AM happy :)