Saturday, February 02, 2013

In a parallel universe, I am a waitress AND a standup comedian

Two days ago, I was sitting in a very cold office selling myself as value-adding uh, addition (no synonyms coming to me at this point, so let's go with that) to an organization let's all agree to call The Gateway to a Bright Future.

TGTABF is a creative group and it may not have been to my best interest to have said that, "I am not an imaginative person." Thankfully, the interviewers at TGTABF didn't take my word at face value and asked me a question that gave me a chance to redeem myself. True to form that TGTABF is indeed, the gateway to a bright future, i was asked a la Miss Universe,

Interviewer Ladies of TGTABF
Let's say you have to be imaginative. How will you tell us about yourself in an imaginative way?

(thinks for about a minute)
Uh, how close do we have to be to reality? Can I create my own reality, separate from my current reality?
(A small surge of panic washes over me. I hope I don't give away too much weird vibes. Damn you aircon! It's so cold and I can't think!)

Interviewer Ladies of TGTABF
Your call. It's up to you.

(about a minute of semi-awkward silence passes.)

Uh, I'm ready
(Oh my god, I hope I am the right amount of cool and smart. Thizisittt.)
I live in Brooklyn. I work as a waitress in the day. I am quirky and deep in my reading and very much into comedy. I waitress to pay the bills. Everyday, I have burst of funny ideas that come to me as I bring people their food. I try to tell the other waitresses in the hopes of getting an audience for my super funny bits. As i expect bursts of laughter, all I get are "huh?" and some tiny pity laughs. This happens a lot so I've learned to find a fit-ter, better qualified audience outside of the diner.

Evening comes, I punch out, take my apron off and head a sort-off dungeon. At night, I am a standup comedian. I work a very pleased crowd and send them in roaring laughter. All the "huhs?" are worth it. All the times My jokes didn't get the validation they deserved are worth it. Damn it I'm funny!

Study questions:
1. Why am I  a waitress AND a standup comic?
2. What does that mean?

P.S. The Interviewer Ladies of TGTABF actually asked me that.

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