Thursday, November 30, 2006

Now know what Vvvvvacteria is

I am drowning in snot. I don't know where i got my sipon (although am betting Valdez brought in the communicable whatever and infected me and rach). And now, am an inch away from saying, am down with the flu. Wow, and i thought I was safe -- with the flu vaccine and all.

Wednesday free day today and I was supposed to read for marketing. And finance. But I felt super weak and I ended up sleeping the day off. I said I wan't goin ta watch much boobie tubie and actually start reading -- on the first part I was kinda successful. But on the Starting Reading part, Sgot drowsy already after less than 5 pages. so off I went to dreamland. I feel so heavy (lazy :P) and couldn't get off my bun.

Because I said just not much boobie tubie, still had my little fix. I was on ETC when I saw the ad for Happy Feet. It's a feature where they got the voice overs say something about the movie. Two days ago I just wanna go see, but today I soo wanna watch. Someone plaese watch with me :)

Dad texted and said that there was an announcement about no classes tom. All levels including metro manila. Good cos i can rest. Bad cos rach said it's a super bagyo and now mum doesn't want me off for tom night anymore :( I think it's bye tiende barbecue dinner, and worse -- bye posh, huge Istarbak Frontera. Dati I like rainy days. Not today. Not when it cancels planned thingums.

Thas supposed to be the last, but I just don't like ending on a sad not -- cos i always do :P Hmm, random story. I just finished Friendcess' Twisted by J.Zafra. No better company on snot-nosed days.

P.S. am thinking my sipon is an allergic reaction. And i have a hunch am reacting to that Angel's Breath spritz I got myself a few weeks ago. No, hindi pwede. I love Angel's Breath, I almost jumped like a gradeschooler when I saw it was out again at Watsons. No. Repeat, I am not allergic to Angel's Breath.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

today is the ultimate example of my life's struggle with making a stand and defining my priorities. last night was spent thinking about how to skip law class meeting with groupmates. my meager three-hour time allotment before shuteye time is divided among studying for the 7a class, cramming, reading non-acad related materials aka chic lit and/or j.zafra, watching john lloyd sa channel2 -- and last night, downloading the corporation code so i have a reason to skip the frigging meeting. haha for the first time, i felt like i had the moral high ground over everyone else cos i had the entire effin corporation code burned in my expensive cd :P

my stars were listening :) 182 i spot my law groupmate. i go to her after class and ask her if she can please do me a favor and hand the group my contribution cos my last class ends at 3p. kinda felt guilty cos she took in everything i said very graciously and even told me she'll text me the outcome of the meeting. ha! attempt successful :)

finally after successfully ditching the meeting, we agreed on the final istarbak afternoon coffee fix :) chocolate cream. alavet. its not overpowering, sweet enough, and good for those i-don't-feel-like-having-coffee days -- pardon my raving, am just not youreveryday adventurous consumer :P

anyway, this is like three posts late -- starbucks is amazing. not the coffee part. it's so packed and the lines have at least three people any given time. sometimes i feel like the entire student population of katipunan stay there. altogether. at the same time. weird though, cos when you think about it it's supposed to be the quiet coffee shop where you can read in peace. but no, with the amount of people in there, is sometimes feels like a jollibee joint where you wait on tables for people to get up so you get a seat. howel, goood advertising.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

writing a lot (too much)

am loving writing here :) for one, this thing does not shove random updates up people's noses about when i blog, and i don't think about any audience. alavet:)

it's weird cause performance anxiety gets the better of me and i can't realy write write. this is good because no one has gotten here yet. well, at least for now.

been thinking about law school lately. rach is finally convinced about giving in to her parents' wishes, she's getting into law school. instant law school friend, one reason to get there. (and a very pushover-y one at that :P) for another, are required to take 160 business law and the labor code in HR and looking into laws is one way to get me interested. i would love the say rubbing elbows with lawyers and people knowledgeable in law helps too, unfortunately not in my case:P
i think back and i remember that after ditching my dream to become a biochemist, i shifted my focus into becoming a lawyer, i was ten i think. way with words aka bluffing made me, for the longest time, be demented (or naive) enough to believe it can get you through law school. haha. seriously, dedicating my entire existence to mastering the laws of the land --not very sure. am thinking about how fickle i am and how i easily get bored ( undiagnosed ADD kid :P) getting into law school needs a lot of thinking. and mom says praying.
it's been months since tet last sent me a reply. it's kind of getting tiring already to be writing letters and waiting to be written back. i don't know what happened to him. last i heard of him, he landed a job at the airport to get way cheaper tickets for his flight home next year. sending angry/emo/have-pity-write-me-please letters is very much not an option. i don't exactly know how we stand right now and the last thing i want to do is add unnecessary stress to his already very stressful life and homesick self. it kind of makes me think of myself as a master at letting go. haha.
am thinking of gettin another blog. the seemingly illiterate address of this blog (wuwi.blogspot) kind of made rethink my decision-making skills :P i don't know. *bouts with plummeting self-esteem setting in* everyone seems to be thinking up really characteristic names and themes for their things and i don't don't. okay am stoping right there.

the guisewite ramblings

Albeit the huge amount of schoolwork that looms over me, I find so much time to catch up on non-academic related reading -- and that does not necessarily mean I get the school work done :P Just a few days ago, I closed Bergdorf Blondes and squirmed as the chic lit that it is ended up appalingly incredible. AsJulie Bergdorf says, devastating -- in a complimenting way. I hate happy endings, they don't always happen in real life. And so to balance the ultimately rosy, unbelievably perfect lives in fiction (ooh, and with an incredulous, neverending cash flow, must I add) i read THE Jessica Zafra. and yes, she still doesn't fail to give me the frigging inferiority complex. She writes so well, it's as if the words just zap off her fingers into those unbelievable articles.

Which brings me to this, half way into business school, i ask myself if what am preparing to be doing is what i would really like to be doing in the next twenty or so years. I find myself getting into writing more and more -- and loving it. Although when i think about it, writing and business (aka ze corporate life) aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. So I prolly can get into business and still get on with my writing. Yeah. hat. *I get images of me writing for a living, working for some posh lifestyle magazine.-- scratch that. I don't know.

It's eleven in the morning and I seriously think I should be on with my writing for the Labor Code for my HR class. My deadline's in three hours and i haven't started reading my matter. Before I get into that, images of last night's dinner are swimming inside my head. Hafta write.

I've been itching to write about it the moment I started laughing my head off about that parking glitch. Even harder when a stranger went up to us and told us how to manuever the darn wheel -- of course I was stifling the laughter in between my thank yous. We're still polite like that :) Ooh, winner line -- "Pag nag-turn ka to the right, bawi agad to the left! traighten your wheel. Nag-aaral palang kyo mag-drive ano?" Haha, in fairness to the white-haired man, he delivered his lines sans the condescension AND with a very father-like I Want To Help You With Your Driving Mga Anak tone.

So yeah, dinner was chicken with this white-with-i-think-its-parsely sauce. Pretty good, although a wee bit too bland. Mashed potatoes that they call rustic had 3 out of four parts of whole garlic, partly why I didn't finish it. Plus eggs, and I think I got three of em. I asked for sunny-side up thas well done and scrambled. I ended up with a plate of all scrambled eggs. They were kind enough to not take half of the scrambled eggs and serve it to some other uninformed customer :) And saving the best for last, my super favorite, their pancakes. It was fluffy, soft -- basta sarap! I had one plain and the other with maple syrup. Heaven! (n' eggs. Haha)

Conversations weren't juicy exactly. I loved the laidback feel, partly cguro because we were tired, an inch away from liyng down the wooden seats and dozing off. We were supposed to resolve this issue/dilemma, but we had too much other random kwento, we went home with still no answer. Ooh, the general consensus was -- you can choose your friends :)

I'll start on my 152 write-up -- so I can get on to reading Confessions Of A Shopaholic + Like Water For Chocoloate :) I loove leisure reading. Sana Finance has characters that are as interesting. Hay.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Screw Control Freaks

Aangsty na naman. Ii know you all say :) Bbefore i validate that statement, let me get to this first --- it's a beatuiful friday morning and i did get a very good night's sleep. Wwoke up at 5a to the message of the 182 prof saying we're not having the 7a class today. So i continue my sweet slumber and kinda just got up again a good twenty minutes ago. Ffor another, there's a huge chance of us going again to that happy place that is Libis later tonight:) Ooh, and am getting my coffee fix later during my *gasp* 5-hour break.

Too cheerful. Onto my validation of that initial statement i so know is on people's thought bubbles -- enlighten me please. I don't get it what's with people who for some crappy reason or another, mostly because of fear (although indirectly), screws other people's lives by meddling. I mean yes, gratitude is a given and i definitely believe eveyone should learn that, but there's a fine line. The divide that says gratitude should never be coerced. Gratitiude is something given, not demanded.

Howell, this isn't called a ranting audience for nothing. After all, it will take a while (a long one) before i actually get these aired out. Or i prolly won't even get to that.

Again, when i think about it, that thing up there shoulda been, screw control freaks, screw me. I know I am. The easy explanations to all those irrational fears. Yeah, i know.

Gotta get going. Off to school.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

i was serious when i said don't get your positive fix here..

Here i go again. I just feel so wrong. I am totally spiralling out again. I never felt "perfectly" fine. And here i am again wallowing in my favorite emotion/state -- self-pity/confusion/angsty-teenager.

My letters were never written back and i hate it that i still, at this teeny part of the back of my mind, am hoping at the very least. my branding is all wrong -- no explanations. My favorite part of *this* is down there again. i just feel so wrong. I can go on for weeks telling you whatever else.

This is so not my day. I take that back --so not my life. Am crossing my fingers I sort things out in a while and take back all of the ugly things i said two seconds ago.

knowing, doing, and the difference

Life Lessons From The Boxing Ring

By this time prolly half the internet is buzzing with news about Pacquiao and his 3-round knock-out bout with that mexican boxer who weirdly weilds a three-year old boy's charm. I am sure am not a fan. Very sure. But more than the winning, this is about my thing on being prepared and performing. The news and this subtitle is stale. This thing has been sitting in my real journal for roughly a year, yeah after that Pacqiao-Larios bout early in the year. Again, i am not a fan. And this is not said as a comic relief, not sarcastic. Again, i really am not a fan. Wahaha, you can all say overly defensive now.

And in an attempt to be consistent with my super banner, this is about knowing, doing and the difference. Well yeah, brace yourself for this -- life, like boxing, is one big performance. It can be in school -- a big report, a heated debate match, a super homework or any other thing that requires preparation. You can gloat all you want about getting ready, but the real score is fleshed out the moment you get on with your performance. The real deal can either justify the gloating, or betray all the things you said.

Preparing sucks, but the consequence of a dingbat performance leaves you with no other choice. Although sometimes, no i take that back -- almost always, it's not as daunting. The real importance of smashing preparation dawns on you at that instant in the performance you realize you should've read more on the report instead of caught up with the chic lit reading or the emo soap. Or when didn't master you matter, and your bluffing couldn't get you anywhere. Take it from me, i know this all too well.

I can always say knowing and doing are worlds apart. ut again, unless i get my butt off here and start reversing my life trends-- wuh, dingbat you get too much airtime in my life.

On Advocacies
Yeah, i realize how long this post is turning out to be, but -- ooh, no reasons needed:) Anyway, sunday saw me and my heart nodding in approval to what pastor was teaching. Again, knowing, doing , and the difference. Andame na stored knowledge, and believe me they're really just stored. I'll write about the other more important things next time (next time when i know how i will take on it.) He talked about the need to think up personal advocacies. And of all the things i learned, well about being a Christian, this makes the most sense.
Christianity is more than just the passive behavior of avoiding the wrong things. More than anything, christianity is about taking a proactive stance about you faith. It's about going out of your way to practice what yoou believe in. It's not avoiding the bad things -- it's doing the good things.
Wow. That was a mouthful. And yes, with all the help I can get (yes God, from you) I want to get my hand into that. Yes, the personal advocacy is one -- one of the many. Tons of work, but more than that, tons of help. Now am thinking about this one thing i can pour my extra efforts into. *still thinking*

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Wrong blog

Ripped off from the wrong blog. Wow. This is long overdue -- the blog and the post. Finally, i can speak of a real *nonpervasive blog, one that does not send updates to "friends" whenever I post, and that doesn't get bombed for overly emo posts that are unwantedly shoved under everyone else's nose. Finally.

It's 1.19 in the morning today on the 8th, and I am a jumble of many things. The few hours ago which I call yesterday was second day enlistment in BA, and by some weird miracle, I never, not even for once, fell in line for any subject -- because, yes albeit extremely unbelievable, I got everything via CRS (Computerized Registration System). I get this weird feeling of calm, my enrolment isn't like this. I very well remember, fret everytime this time of the sem comes, because I know it gets more frustrating. My stakes are growing as I inch up into college. But today was totally different. Bliss:)

and and.. I didn't make any random friends whle lining up. Yes, enlistment takes that long. Aandame ko na naging friends from enlistment -- random seatmates that you talk to for the absence of better things to do (while burning your asses waiting for our turn to enlist. )

Also came from kate's birthday blowout. Believe me when i say i did have fun:) Thank you to your family that took me in for dinner. Food was great.There are other things swimming in my head right now. Like how that dinner felt, my 129 to be taken in my second sem in fourth year, unanswered letters and inexistent foncalls, and the sem ahead me.

For one, am all scared to even think about them. And two, they're all things out of my control. So, not this time-- EDIT: 14 November 2006, Tuesday. Haha, came out overly dramatic. Wwhatta welcome entry. Just got me thinking. This thing took me two years of wishing, a number of lame attempts at starting one, which are basically filling out half the blog reg form and having to quit somewhere in the middle either from busted internet connection or sheer impatience, and enough creativity for titles, names and things. This will be very dear to my heart :)

Ha, enought of the emo statements. It's 2.22a, and my eyes are kind of giving up on me, so i think that means i hafta go. NOW.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Because you don't know fickle the way i do

So yes, much as I don't want to have been so fickle for the last few days, this is the third blog I opened here -- fourth if you count that one before this which i didn't really finish filling out. I am not creative, ouch. So it took me like half a century to think up a name for this thing I call, drumroll -- my favorite ranting audience. Yeah, i cooked up weird phrases in a lame attempt to brand me. But, just like you and i guessed, it was to no avail.

Just as i was v. confused about how to call this thing, I chanced upon THE Jessica Zara's Phil. Star column, and it was aptly named -- Emotional Weather Report. Wuh, how come she gets this witty and i don't even have a teeny bit of creativity? After which, I watched my self-esteem plummet. there, down there.

The first thing I named this was 'inside the closet' cos i think that is what i really think this is. But my lucky stars are not on my side. Cos the instant I hit the 'check availability' button, someone else is already as creative as I am. Then I move on to 'her thought bubble.' It was kinda already working for me, but after some thinking time, it dawned on me just how bland it sounded. Very bland and with zero character. After which I stumble into THAT column of THE writing icon . You cannot imagine how bad I felt about naming a blog like that, and being juxtaposed to a v. successful creative venture. finally, after the eons I spent coming up with all those boring names, I realized the brand all my own is Gullible's Travels. My lone (okay, I am biased) successful creative venture.

And yes, proven again that you can't have your cake and eat it too, the blog address is NOT available. So I settled for my blog title and whined about why on earth there are people who think up naming their things the same weird way I do. But then again, it can be that aborted attempt to open the third/fourth journal with the same addy. It prolly got recognized. So there. Welcome.

P.S. This is a ranting audience. So if you want happy thoughts, you're in the very wrong place. Well, you prolly can/will find some happy posts here, but don't tell me i didn't send a caveat -- super sporadic :P

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