Monday, October 22, 2007

october thoughts

subtitled: on death, the Pinoy wake culture, the tenacity of my Mother (the unbelievably strong woman) and some annoying old relatives on the side

the sem ender and the death of my lola was a killer (no puns intended). very bad combination. i just had to let that out.

i think this thing would be a series of random, incohesive thoughts about the dazy week last week has been.

i think death will always catch us by surprise, however prepared we think we are. the kind of preparedness that comes from death bed woes. even if we know that death is impending, it still surprises. maybe because it never is a welcome thing. maybe because even with its inevitability, at some remote recess of our mind, there is that glimmer of hope that it is possible to evade it.

when real life hits you, it hits you hard. when it happens very close to home, it's simply difficult to comprehend. a week into my Lola's death and still hasn't occurred to me that she is really gone. it just feels like another long interval between visits. that we got too busy and we put off going to her house. that come next weekend, we pop into her house and we see her again. to me it doesn't feel like a long term thing. i still don't get it, the thought of death is very foreign to me. maybe next week, maybe next month, in the future i will understand.

the tenacity of Mother is one for the books. there are days when we couldn't make sense of her high-strung self, we remind our selves that death is difficult, and then we go back to awe. she is just amazing.

i think i shall not talk about the annoying relatives. it's tiring, so let's not get into that.

the turnout of visitors in my Lola's wake was just amazing. there were so many people who came to share the grief. the family is grateful.

and you two, thank you very much for sharing awkward moment # 560. i am deeply touched :) the Mother wishes to thank you two and wants me to let you know that she is also very deeply touched by the gesture.

i guess that's it. goodbye Lola.

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