Wednesday, December 06, 2006


pms, angsty-teenager mode, and whatever else you may want to add, take your pick. whatever the reason may be doesn't change the frigging irritating feeling. again let's do data mining -- bad fit, wrong fit, very very wrong fit, and it-kinda-feels-right-but-it-turned-out-so-wrong fit. i never fit in. i either end up with the very wrong *bleep, or i end up the very wrong *bleep.

i am in a frigging bad mood, stating the obvious. i just have to -- in case it still is not apparent. and to add insult to the injury, i had a super in your face bitter argument loss. i had to shut up and eat my words. the worst thing on earth. screw that feeling. eartheatmenowpleasenow.

my only consolation is that econ is making sense. yun lang. i can't even make myself feel any better by loading on inspirationals (whatever you call those thingums), good essays about life and the niceties, emo music is not working. say jaded and every possible power on earth seems to me like working together to prove that right.

plus that one is trying to prove something. i don't know if am just paranoid, but things are kind of working together neatly, very much like it was an orchestrated something. think -- person 1 is online and the status is announced by this annoyingly happy smiley. i log in and sudenly the fat yellow smiley is gone and out pops a new, very meaningful foto. wow, how circumstancial. the gall to think that!

am v. tired.
sana i can go away.
somewhere far.
someplace where i don't have to explain myself.

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