Tuesday, June 05, 2007

so my sleuthing (slothing? :P) took me somewhere

who would have thought that that back issue page would take me from random read to .. something something (i have yet to think about that -- OR find my way to being articulate enough :P).

it took me from random (pathetic) snooping, to wondering why i din't know/care about indie music, to looking at family fotos (awww), and brotherly love (the non-eew kind), to falling in love all over again with random everyday adorable stuff. it probably doesn't make sense to you (reader YOU), but it makes a lot to me. makes me smile randomly by myself :) i like it silly like that :)

and again, i have that perennial question/wonder nagging me from the back of my head. am twenty and my future, as it appears to me, is in no way clear cut. what exactly do i want to do with my (freaking) life. it kind of rubs it in, this entire snooping thing. i see them and how much they love what they do. it's thick in the air, you can touch it. seriously. i think i kinda have an idea of my options, but in this gahd-i-am-overflowing-with-freaking-estrogen fashion, am no very sure if i want them for the right freaking reasons. haha, angry kid right there. spotted. haha :P my summer's way too close to ending for a seriously serious post. maybe next time :)

**EDIT (6:07pm): hrmm, i guess my issue wasn't necessarily about the knowing what to do with my life. i was thinking about it, sort of for the entire day :P, and yess i think i know now. it's about not having that something i love that i'd do everything for. and no, this is not a mad wish for a lovelife. *gags a bit* you know that something that you wouldn't mind staying up late for, something you'd spend for, something you'd brag about cos you feel cool doing it. like music, or art, or some sport your freaking good at. so life wouldn't be just about school and family and friends. so you have that something you call love, even if your not in a relationship. (i don't know how i do it, but every freaking time that i write, i either sound like an extremely angry teenager OR some cheesy emo sap. hay) **

anyhoo, learned a new word today :) reading back issues is becoming a habit that's kicking in. and you guessed it -- i learned my new word from my back issue thing. looked it up in that Garfield dictionary earlier(yes, garfield -- that dictioanry i somehow sucessfully talked my mum into buying :P) .

pensive /adj/ -- curious, dreamy. melancholic thought (i think). yessss. i like this new word. pppensssive :)

and and... just a bit of show and tell :) took random shots yesterday and i just felt like they needed an audience (pseudo-audience, okay :P)

my special love affair with the clouds :)

before taking a bath -- distractions abound :P starring me looking out the window in the study room while dad does limewire, my new red-painted toes, and for extra, my mums feet :)

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