Sunday, July 22, 2012

"If Men Were Like Buses, How Do You Catch The Right One?"

I saw a tweet from Chesa yesterday about a blog post she wrote on "Pamamanhikan". (Sidebar: I met Chesa through a Life's Directions retreat I went to sometime in 2010). I clicked on the link and was happily brought to  Chesa's blog where she recounts her lovely story of the Gian-Chesa long engagement.

I just clicked for that one entry. Little did I know I would be spending the next hour or so reading through Chesa and Gian's love story. I love how she wrote the stories - nakaka-kilig without being nauseatingly cheesy. It was like having dinner with a friend and listening to her as she giddily spills the details on a new boyfriend  :)

It warms my heart to hear of beautiful stories of people who found the perfect partner, at the perfect time. It warms my heart even more that Gian and Chesa are people that I know. All the best for you both! :)

I'd just like to share an inspiring article I found in Chesa's blog. For all the lovely ladies (who are still looking!), here's some crunchy food for thought :)


"If Men Were Like Buses, How Do You Catch The Right One?"
Michelle McKinney Hammond

If men were like buses, how do you catch one? A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one? Simple: You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT direction. First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.

Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.

But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts. So when you do gather facts, let us compare the process to clothes shopping.

Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE.

From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib.

You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy because he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.

Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19).

Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time.

So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship. 


For now, I relax, sit pretty and allow myself to be found :)

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