Monday, October 22, 2012

Breaking the ice/dusting the cobwebs, etc.

I feel like I'm lost in my own head.

Wow. Like words to a (cool) song. I'd love to say that I meant it in a very poetic, very profound way - but really, I just feel (can I say literally?) that way. The next few things I will say will probably sound so annoyingly pretentious (I will plead it's just honesty, but judge away, anyway).. I'm just hoping this little hint of self-awareness assuages it a bit.

There are no feelings. Like you're right smack in the center of the woods and any way you take will take you just about the same time to get back to place familiar to you. Like any way you take is pretty much fair game.

I feel like I'm right smack in the center of neutrality in my head. I'm not closer to happy than I am to sad. I'm not closer to anger than I am to whatever feeling is opposite of anger.

(Interestingly, I read this morning from a book called "The Book of Useless Information (things you didn't think you need to know - and probably don't)" that the most used word in conversation is "I". And I probably used up my quota only 100 words into this entry.)

I have several things I want to write about. My lazy butt reasons that I haven't found "the" writing timing to sit down and make sense of my messy thoughts. I am writing today so I break the ice/dust the cobwebs/insert similar symbolism about starting again, etc.

So forgive the brain farts I passed as "thoughts that merit a blog post". Consider this stretching prior to an easy 10K :)

p.s. I am trying to discipline myself to avoid tweeting random cryptic stuff (that most of the time don't mean anything OR mean something less profound than they seem). This is to train me to write, to train me to think to pursue trains of thought, and maybe develop some delayed gratification. (Nothing cripples ability to practice delayed gratification better than that small surge of (fleeting) happiness a witty 140-character tweet allows you.)

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