Saturday, July 26, 2008

Why I'm (almost) never cranky in the morning

...because i have the Top Ten to listen to. I know my friends sometimes hate me for parrotting almost all the entries and trying to recreate the humor, albeit unsuccessfully, I'd say half the time. But this one, you gotta give to me, the dumbest things you've heard said. I got a handful from from the repost on Chico's blog and now I'm pretty sure why ten years (give or take) after, I'm still in love with this morniing show :)

BedBathed Mitch
One time, nag-rereklamo ang girlfriend ko dahil masakit ang ulo nya. Sabi ko, “ganyan talaga, ang ulo parang tiyan, sumasakit kapag walang laman.” Ang sagot niya, “eh kumain naman ako ah…” Ayos.

My friend once argued “Sabi sa Discovery Channel, ang babae na lion, eh tiger!” I told him that those were two different animals. The next day he conceded, “Tama ka, iba nga yung lion sa tiger. Ang babaeng lion pala…eh lioner.”

My aunt and I were eating in I-hop restaurant in LA. As we ordered our food the waiter asked my aunt, “how would you like your eggs, ma’am?” My aunt replied, “Cooked, please.”

No name
Back in college, one of my friends mentioned the Ninja Turtles. Another friend blurted out, “Diba palaka yung mga Ninja Turtles?”

One time, I tried to butt in my friends’ conversation. I heard one say, “Mae and I are going VEGAN.” I blurted, “Ay, kelan kayo pupunta? Sama ako!” Akala ko kasi, VIGAN.

Eto super winner:
Eli Gonzales
When I was in grade 6, I thought “lesbian” was a nationality. One time, a friend saw a lesbian couple and said to me “look at those lesbians”. I replied, “mukha naman silang pinoy…”

And just when I thought the “lesbian” one was funny, this one comes. Panalong panalo!
My wife was having coffee with a friend and her boyfriend who is a programmer. My wife asked the guy what language he knows and he said, “Java.” All of the sudden, the girl said, “Talaga? Sige nga, say something in Java!” After that…silence.

P.S. I plead the RX gods to please let Chico and Delamar keep their morning show til they're um, 60?

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