Saturday, October 25, 2008

It's on Autopilot Overdrive

It's Day 2 today of the show in SMX. I barely completed 8 hours of sleep for the past two days combined. But tonight, I decide to kill more brain cells by staying up late, trawling the internet for err, things. As if my brain isn't damaged enough from "rarely talking" -- according to Pastor's text on brain damaging habits.

I've been thinking a lot the past week, about my decisions, plans for the coming year, and my 21-year old life in general. The kind of thinking I've been doing on autopilot hasn't been giving me any more clarity. Not saying I have clarity of thought now.

I'm physically exhausted and when I think about it, my brain's kind of tired, too. Doing a lot of thinking without getting to resolve anything is a betch.

Dear God, I know you know our hearts even before we tell you things in prayer. You know my heart more than I do, and you know how confused it is. I've said what I think will give it clarity more times than I care to count. I've said it in prayer, and now I'm saying with a blog entry. Internet's supposedly faster in heaven, isn't it?


My hands are shaking from carrying this torch, from carrying this torch for you.
~ Sondre Lerche

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