Sunday, March 06, 2011

I Wonder What They'll Say On My Eulogy

Came home just about an hour ago from a wake. Dad's cousin died of a stroke at the very young age of 35. The crowd was pretty big, mostly family and close and distant relatives.

The mood was morose and pensive. I would think friends and family alike are thinking to themselves what this death means them, how the dead touched their lives and how they will move forward after this.

I can't help but think to myself, I wonder how things would be like if I go? Will my wake have many guests? Will the mood be morose and pensive? Who will say my eulogies and what stories will they tell? Will people say I touched their lives? Did my life really matter?

I'm kind of  embarrassed at the vanity of my thinking about myself in the midst of someone else's death, in the midst of someone else's loss. But I guess there's really just something about other people's deaths that make you think about your own. Not that, I want to know the answers to my questions now or any time soon, that can wait um, a hundred more years :p

I guess the hope is that I live a life that matters. More importantly, a life that matters to the people that matter to me. I want to find out that I touched the lives of those around me. That those I loved like crazy loved me also like crazy. And that my life and my love and my friendship made a difference. Pretty ambitious stuff, huh? Dream big, eh!

This may have been a little morbid, talking about my own death and all that dark stuff. But really, all that talk about death and dying really points you back to assess what kind of living you are doing. I think this means I gotta start living bigger now -- to make sure I get awesome eulogies :) Hahaha!

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