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[/edit]: itsa sunday morning, and am online at ten. wow, am getting better at self-control and discipline. NOT. i always say ill be on for ten minutes -- only. but i end up staying three hours. rawr, this is just so wrong. i edit this post instead of making a new one, int he hopes that i wont babble (which is exactly what am doing now, oyeh) to fill up space and not feel bad about a short post. okay, so much for defeated purposes.
anyhoo, the reason for this entire thing really is -- how twisted i think i am for doing... erm, what i do. two days back, something totally stupid happened, and for the life of me, i just cant do anything to make my lot a wee bit better. so i i'd have to settle for status quo because anyting i get to think of at this moment (and well, the past few days) will only make (and i say this with soo much certainty -- take it from me, i just so know this)things worse, and believe me when i say that. no, this is not some life-altering whatever, it's just me and the hormones and what happens when am on such an estrogen high because of the rain.
iw as squirming in my seat the other day when i just found out what the heck i did/ hapened. but then i catch myself going in and out of this "thing" to see if what happened really happened. and gahd, for the pathetic life of me, i actually enjoy seeing what i see. i cross my fingers and hope that that thing stays there. one more "view" and that thing's out. and i think thas sad. so yeah, you can so tell am loathing-liking this entire thing i got myself into. oyeh, loser hits :)
and with that, i have to pick my arm up, force it click the x buttons on all the windows, click the Start and shut this deym thing off -- atleast ideally. oohm. self-control. oohm. discipline. ooohm. whatever. *that was me chanting* sorreh. if this thing feaks you out, click the x button, immediately!
au revoir!
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