Thursday, May 05, 2011

Thought Catalog on Loneliness Hitting and Where it Hurts

I stumbled upon this article on Thought Catalog by Shalene Gupta about loneliness and being alone. I'd do the piece injustice if I try to describe is "nice" or "well-written". But this much I will say - it hits where it hurts.

I know loneliness pretty well. While I don't wear it proud like a badge, I recognize that I've struggled with it for a long time. And every now and then, actually sometimes more often than I can handle, I still do. It's not just sad. It's that feeling of being alone and hard as you try, not being able to do anything about it.

I'm posting direct quotes from the article which made so much sense to me, I'm pretty sure I have the exact same sentiment written down in my personal journal. Props to Shalene. Read the whole article here

People are Asleep, Abed, Abroad
Even in the event of minor tragedies, the hour when you wanted someone to hold your hand and say nothing but “I understand”, it is difficult to find someone. People are asleep, abed, abroad.
This is Friendship, This is Love
There are so very many things that are never talked about. Instead you shut your eyes, you tell yourselves this is friendship and this is love, and you never say, where were you when I needed you, and you never wonder why you are attacked by sudden, terrible bouts of loneliness.
When the Sky Falls Down, at Least Someone Will Know it Fell Down on You
And it is even harder to look up from this loneliness, to see how everyone else is surrounded by packs of people, and then you wonder, what you did, why it is you have gone wrong. Sometimes, the loneliness is so terrifying all you can do is rush from one party to another, anxious to meet more and more people, so that when the sky falls down, at least someone will know it fell down on you. Paradoxically, when you rush from party to party, you become lonelier than ever. You can not meet people at parties. Too much noise for conversation.
Lucky, not Lonely
Or you cling. You leap frog from relationship to relationship, preferably romantic, and maybe it is bad so you get out, but, worse, maybe it’s good, good but a little off, a few streaks of something sour, a couple discordant notes, but it’s good enough, so you stay, and you stay, and you tell yourself you are very lucky and you are not lonely. Of course you are not lonely. Lucky. The words are book-ended by the same letters, but the substance of their centers is completely different, do not confuse the two. Lucky, not lonely.

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