We were very privileged yesterday to have met in the flesh, "Aspire"author, human being extraordinaire... Kevin Hall! Prior to yesterday, I had very little idea who Kevin Hall is. We were told that he is a bestselling writer as well as life coach to many successful and well-known people. The one that stuck the most was that he has worked closely with Oprah. The short intro left me intrigued -- actually just more on the Oprah part. Haha.
I am very thankful for the opportunity to have heard this wonderful man talk and experience first hand the brilliance of his ideas. I am writing to share one of the very special things I took away from yesterday's training that I think will be very big help for anyone looking to be better, happier, and a come a little more closer to knowing themselves more.
"Genshai"
Kevin talked about a very powerful word, "Genshai." He said how we treat others is a mere reflection of how we see ourselves. When we see others as small and inferior, it's not because we are "big" and confident. We may not know it but that is how exactly we see ourselves.
One question raised in the audience was very interesting. The man went, "How do you show love to yourself so you can show love to others?"
Kevin shared 5 Declarations he tells himself every morning to assure his love for himself.
1. I AM WORTHY
2. I AM CAPABLE
3. I AM GRATEFUL
4. I FORGIVE MYSELF AND OTHERS
5. I TRUST MYSELF
I wanted to dismiss it as nothing more than positive self talk. Until Kevin asked us to say it aloud. I cannot believe how powerful the words are. I was only able to say "I am worthy" and I choked. I had a lump in my throat and I couldn't continue on to say the next four words, lest I burst into unexplainable tears.
I knew the words. I knew I am worthy, capable, grateful, that I can forgive, and that I trust myself. But there was something so different about saying it out loud and dismissing all doubt that I AM ALL THAT.
Do you believe you are all that? Give yourself the gift of love. You owe it to yourself to know that all that and more :)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Boy Should Be All That And More (Anna Oposa version)
Isa from Everyday Isa took on a collaboration project with a handful of equally interesting bloggers on their take on "Who You Should Date". To jumpstart the collection is a beautifully written, incredibly funky and ubelievably spot on article by Anna Oposa.
I'm reposting the awesome awesome piece here. Let your heart smile and nod in agreement with me :) Great, great read - I promise you.
***
On the Kind of Guy You Should Date
by Anna Oposa
Before we talk about him, let’s talk about you. You need to be the kind of person you would want to date. Get your shit together and leave the needy, clingy, broken version of yourself behind. You are not going to look for a boyfriend because you’re lonely, or worse, on rebound. You are not going to settle for who’s available and willing, because that will never last. Neither are you are going to stay in a wilting relationship just because you’re afraid to be alone and you find comfort in the familiar.
Actually, you’re not even going to look for a boyfriend at all, because you know that the universe will lead him to you when you are ready[1].
Now let’s talk about him. Not Mr. Perfect, but Mr. Perfect For You.
Let’s face it: looks matter. Whoever said looks didn’t matter must’ve been hella ugly. This is not to say that you will only entertain Rafael Nadal’s doppelganger, but you will seek a face that makes your heart smile when you wake up next to it. Studies also show that you end up with someone you are equal to[2].
Your family adores him. He charm will your parents by bringing you home on time and being well versed in current events. He will not always agree with your parents’ opinions, because he has his own and can hold his ground[3]. He will watch your little sister’s ballet recital even if she will just be on stage for three minutes. He will play basketball with your brothers, and will laugh when they tease him about the way he dresses or the shape of his face.
When it comes to your girlfriends, he understands that you are shared property. He will woo them by getting to know them individually. He will not put up a fight if you say you need a girls’ night out.
And when you do fight, he will admit his faults and apologize.
He’ll also point out yours to keep your ego and pride in check. He will never tell you what not to wear, how to style your hair, and limit your food intake because you’re getting “chunky.” He loves your body, with all its valleys, peaks, and curves. He will never curse at you, and he will never, ever, EVER hit you[4]. If you allow someone to do these to you, there is not only something wrong with him, but also with you.
A psychological study reveals that the most important criteria for a stable relationship are a similar outlook on religion and complementary drinking habits. This suggests that Sundays will be spent in Wine Depot. Discuss politics, philosophy, world issues, and punctuation marks there. Brain sex and intellectual stimuli are just as important as the physical kinds.
He’s the kind of man he’d want his daughter to date. This means that courtship doesn’t end when the relationship begins. It continues. He’ll bring you red velvet cupcakes just because it’s a Wednesday, text you when he wakes up just so you know he’s thinking about you, and kiss you in your sleep—or at least when he thinks you’re asleep. If you are at an event or club, he’ll have a pair of flip-flops ready, because he knows how much you whine about wearing high heels.
Whether you’ve had a bad day at work or you sealed a major deal, he’ll come armed with the best weapon: Nutella.
Since he is secure about his sexuality, he’s not homophobic and will enjoy the company of your many beloved gay friends. He doesn’t think that writing you postcards from whatever corner of the globe he’s in is “too gay.” He watches chick flicks with you and hands you tissue once you start bawling at the scene where Poypoy tells Basha, “She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best. But binalewala mo lang lahat yun… You chose to break my heart.”
And contrary to the well-loved SWV song that goes, “Can’t explain why your lovin’ makes me weak,” his love should make you STRONG. He does not have emotional baggage and issues from the past that you may find yourself unnecessarily entangled in. He has direction in his life and a purpose greater than himself[5]. He’s someone who dreams with you. The two of you must dream big, so you can grow into those dreams by chasing them together. Your relationship uplifts you, inspires you, and makes you a better person.
And while other girls wish for a happy ending, your love story never ends.
[1] See: The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
[2] In other words, wag ka masyadong ambisyosa, at wag kang magmamaganda.
[3] Besides, guys who just keep saying yes are useless.
[4] Guys like that should be shot. Twice.
[5] In your lola’s words, he is not “pahampas hampas.”
I'm reposting the awesome awesome piece here. Let your heart smile and nod in agreement with me :) Great, great read - I promise you.
***
On the Kind of Guy You Should Date
by Anna Oposa
Before we talk about him, let’s talk about you. You need to be the kind of person you would want to date. Get your shit together and leave the needy, clingy, broken version of yourself behind. You are not going to look for a boyfriend because you’re lonely, or worse, on rebound. You are not going to settle for who’s available and willing, because that will never last. Neither are you are going to stay in a wilting relationship just because you’re afraid to be alone and you find comfort in the familiar.
Actually, you’re not even going to look for a boyfriend at all, because you know that the universe will lead him to you when you are ready[1].
Now let’s talk about him. Not Mr. Perfect, but Mr. Perfect For You.
 |
| Thank you to Google images, as always :) |
Let’s face it: looks matter. Whoever said looks didn’t matter must’ve been hella ugly. This is not to say that you will only entertain Rafael Nadal’s doppelganger, but you will seek a face that makes your heart smile when you wake up next to it. Studies also show that you end up with someone you are equal to[2].
Your family adores him. He charm will your parents by bringing you home on time and being well versed in current events. He will not always agree with your parents’ opinions, because he has his own and can hold his ground[3]. He will watch your little sister’s ballet recital even if she will just be on stage for three minutes. He will play basketball with your brothers, and will laugh when they tease him about the way he dresses or the shape of his face.
When it comes to your girlfriends, he understands that you are shared property. He will woo them by getting to know them individually. He will not put up a fight if you say you need a girls’ night out.
And when you do fight, he will admit his faults and apologize.
He’ll also point out yours to keep your ego and pride in check. He will never tell you what not to wear, how to style your hair, and limit your food intake because you’re getting “chunky.” He loves your body, with all its valleys, peaks, and curves. He will never curse at you, and he will never, ever, EVER hit you[4]. If you allow someone to do these to you, there is not only something wrong with him, but also with you.
A psychological study reveals that the most important criteria for a stable relationship are a similar outlook on religion and complementary drinking habits. This suggests that Sundays will be spent in Wine Depot. Discuss politics, philosophy, world issues, and punctuation marks there. Brain sex and intellectual stimuli are just as important as the physical kinds.
He’s the kind of man he’d want his daughter to date. This means that courtship doesn’t end when the relationship begins. It continues. He’ll bring you red velvet cupcakes just because it’s a Wednesday, text you when he wakes up just so you know he’s thinking about you, and kiss you in your sleep—or at least when he thinks you’re asleep. If you are at an event or club, he’ll have a pair of flip-flops ready, because he knows how much you whine about wearing high heels.
Whether you’ve had a bad day at work or you sealed a major deal, he’ll come armed with the best weapon: Nutella.
Since he is secure about his sexuality, he’s not homophobic and will enjoy the company of your many beloved gay friends. He doesn’t think that writing you postcards from whatever corner of the globe he’s in is “too gay.” He watches chick flicks with you and hands you tissue once you start bawling at the scene where Poypoy tells Basha, “She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best. But binalewala mo lang lahat yun… You chose to break my heart.”
And contrary to the well-loved SWV song that goes, “Can’t explain why your lovin’ makes me weak,” his love should make you STRONG. He does not have emotional baggage and issues from the past that you may find yourself unnecessarily entangled in. He has direction in his life and a purpose greater than himself[5]. He’s someone who dreams with you. The two of you must dream big, so you can grow into those dreams by chasing them together. Your relationship uplifts you, inspires you, and makes you a better person.
And while other girls wish for a happy ending, your love story never ends.
[1] See: The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
[2] In other words, wag ka masyadong ambisyosa, at wag kang magmamaganda.
[3] Besides, guys who just keep saying yes are useless.
[4] Guys like that should be shot. Twice.
[5] In your lola’s words, he is not “pahampas hampas.”
Friday, July 22, 2011
Scruffy Boyfriend Peg
This is how my boyfriend will look like. This is the perfect amount of scruffy and sexy and geeky and handsome and smart-looking and amazing and all that :)
 |
| Photo from the Zach Braff self portrait collection from Facebook :) |
I won't take it against The Boyfriend if he also writes well and is as incredibly funny as Mr. Braff himself. He is passionate and madly in love with his purpose and happily making his mark in his own pocket of the world. He is charming and gracious and beautiful. He is romantic and interesting and funny and his own adorable brand of weird.
He is exciting and adventurous and writes unbelievable love letters. If there is anything I will not doubt, it is the fact the This Boy is really, unbelievably, so into me, there will be no need for pointless (and might I add, very frustrating) mind games. There will no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion. And The Boy's love? It will be so painfully obvious, it will be very very hard to miss. I will come to question many things (as does my brain that's hard-wired for these kinda things) but never will I come to question This Boy's love.
Come find me, babe! :)
Monday, June 06, 2011
The Boy Should Be All That And More :)
Here's a beautiful piece on finding the one that's "all that and more". I was randomly going through Facebook when I stumbled upon this link from Barre. An awesome awesome entry from Isa Garcia on the standard you should hold against who you should date. Ang ganda ganda, naka-ngiti ako mag-isa habang nagbabasa :) Read and be inspired.
***
You Should Date...
By Isa Garcia
The person I want you to date exists and I want you to wait it out until you meet them. Because, in case you haven’t yet, you will. Waiting is for the brave – it means watching years pass, noticing yourself growing older and sitting through wedding after wedding after wedding. It means bottling that slow-rising fear. It means questioning your standards and running the risk of settling.
I wish someone had told me that the person I was meant to be with was a real actual living person, breathing in some part of the world and waiting, too. I did not believe in romantic destiny so I projected all my hopes into the wrong people and tried desperately to make these wrong people right. In the end, no one won and the aftermath was a combination of devastating grief, self-loathing and crippling regret. I do not want that for you.
Wait.
The person I want you to date might be making morning coffee right now or sleeping through a thunderstorm or getting a degree in Physics. Wait. I mean it. Every other person will be a cheap imitation of the real thing.
The person I want you to date believes in big things. This person has a passion and pursues it with a hunger that could set the world on fire. This person believes in setting goals and making them happen. Trust me: you will never regret being with someone who is madly in love with their purpose in life. When you meet this person — this unstoppable ball of good fury — I want you to have a vision of your own. A goal you can shape your life around. I want you to have a desire to change the world, whatever pocket of it you belong to. You can’t be stagnant when the person you’re with is active and dynamic. Life is a grand celebration of doing great things that matter and you (yes, you) play a huge part in all of it.
The person I want you to date has character. When you’re young, all you’re looking for is personality. Charm. Compatibility in music and book taste and food preferences. I think these are all well and good but character is what sustains a relationship when all of these things change. Personality is ever-evolving, character grows and amplifies in time. Character is when a person does beautiful things without seeking credit. It’s when someone doesn’t quit — even if every fiber of their being begs them to. It’s the ability of someone to graciously expend back-breaking heart-wrenching love to someone who has disappointed and failed them. Character is that beautiful thing that gets molded over time and experience. Be someone with character and never settle for someone without it.
The person I want you to date will be into you. Really, really into you. There will be no need for pointless mind games, no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion. The person I want you to date will be crystal clear about their intentions towards you. They will not win you over with sweet nothings or romantic gestures. Their love will be bigger than the superficial trappings of courtship. The person I want you to date will take the time know you. They will see everything there is to love about you and they will look at the core of all the bad stuff and not balk. They will not run at the first sign of ugliness. Instead, they will love you through it.
I want you to know that the person I want you to date will fail you. Give them the grace to be human. (You are one, too.) Don’t listen to those stupid quotes that tell you that the person who loves you will never make you cry. I want you to realistically approach this thing we call human relationships. Hurting one another is part of the messy dynamics of getting close to someone. But the person I want you to date is a person who knows how to resolve conflict especially when it blows up in both your faces. Their ego will never be too big to own up to their mistakes.
And when it comes to their love for you, YOU WILL KNOW. Their love will be the most painfully obvious thing in the world that though you will come to question many, many things in life, you will never — not even once — question them.
And you know what? They will believe in you so much that you will never feel compelled to question yourself. You will put all your insecurities to rest because the person I want you to date will, more than anything, make you feel that you matter. Always. And you know why? Because you do.
I’m sure it sounds like a long shot but what if you dared to believe that the person I want you to date is real? Love is greater than cynicism and this is what I believe — yes, me, the last single girl in the world: While some people think this all sounds too good to be true, there is a God who is out to give us things that are much too good to be false.
Believe. Don’t settle. And in the meantime: become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.
***
Thank you, Isa :)
***
You Should Date...
By Isa Garcia
The person I want you to date exists and I want you to wait it out until you meet them. Because, in case you haven’t yet, you will. Waiting is for the brave – it means watching years pass, noticing yourself growing older and sitting through wedding after wedding after wedding. It means bottling that slow-rising fear. It means questioning your standards and running the risk of settling.
 |
| One day soon I will have this -- sitting by the beach, random stories, holding hands - quiet, steady happy :) Photo credit: Google images (as always) |
I wish someone had told me that the person I was meant to be with was a real actual living person, breathing in some part of the world and waiting, too. I did not believe in romantic destiny so I projected all my hopes into the wrong people and tried desperately to make these wrong people right. In the end, no one won and the aftermath was a combination of devastating grief, self-loathing and crippling regret. I do not want that for you.
Wait.
The person I want you to date might be making morning coffee right now or sleeping through a thunderstorm or getting a degree in Physics. Wait. I mean it. Every other person will be a cheap imitation of the real thing.
The person I want you to date believes in big things. This person has a passion and pursues it with a hunger that could set the world on fire. This person believes in setting goals and making them happen. Trust me: you will never regret being with someone who is madly in love with their purpose in life. When you meet this person — this unstoppable ball of good fury — I want you to have a vision of your own. A goal you can shape your life around. I want you to have a desire to change the world, whatever pocket of it you belong to. You can’t be stagnant when the person you’re with is active and dynamic. Life is a grand celebration of doing great things that matter and you (yes, you) play a huge part in all of it.
The person I want you to date has character. When you’re young, all you’re looking for is personality. Charm. Compatibility in music and book taste and food preferences. I think these are all well and good but character is what sustains a relationship when all of these things change. Personality is ever-evolving, character grows and amplifies in time. Character is when a person does beautiful things without seeking credit. It’s when someone doesn’t quit — even if every fiber of their being begs them to. It’s the ability of someone to graciously expend back-breaking heart-wrenching love to someone who has disappointed and failed them. Character is that beautiful thing that gets molded over time and experience. Be someone with character and never settle for someone without it.
The person I want you to date will be into you. Really, really into you. There will be no need for pointless mind games, no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion. The person I want you to date will be crystal clear about their intentions towards you. They will not win you over with sweet nothings or romantic gestures. Their love will be bigger than the superficial trappings of courtship. The person I want you to date will take the time know you. They will see everything there is to love about you and they will look at the core of all the bad stuff and not balk. They will not run at the first sign of ugliness. Instead, they will love you through it.
I want you to know that the person I want you to date will fail you. Give them the grace to be human. (You are one, too.) Don’t listen to those stupid quotes that tell you that the person who loves you will never make you cry. I want you to realistically approach this thing we call human relationships. Hurting one another is part of the messy dynamics of getting close to someone. But the person I want you to date is a person who knows how to resolve conflict especially when it blows up in both your faces. Their ego will never be too big to own up to their mistakes.
And when it comes to their love for you, YOU WILL KNOW. Their love will be the most painfully obvious thing in the world that though you will come to question many, many things in life, you will never — not even once — question them.
And you know what? They will believe in you so much that you will never feel compelled to question yourself. You will put all your insecurities to rest because the person I want you to date will, more than anything, make you feel that you matter. Always. And you know why? Because you do.
I’m sure it sounds like a long shot but what if you dared to believe that the person I want you to date is real? Love is greater than cynicism and this is what I believe — yes, me, the last single girl in the world: While some people think this all sounds too good to be true, there is a God who is out to give us things that are much too good to be false.
Believe. Don’t settle. And in the meantime: become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.
***
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
the college kid, poetry and checking you out
happy birthday to my Dad :D cheers to my favorite golden boy, weeee! i love you Dad :)
***
hoorray to proscrastination :D *not that itsa good thing in itself* but today, all my wishing paid off -- the SEA30 exam and the 175 midterms moved to thursday :) weeeeee!
*thinks again* and i just realized it got put off, but am still taking it in two days time. howell, whoever said you can have your cake and eat it, too. *there goes my cliche quota fulfilled for the day :)*
***
i seriously think my SEA30 teacher was wearing eye liner earlier. waw, watta way to start my day, Sir. thanks. okay, with that out of the way, lets go. when i came to class, that one was looking. before i sat down, that one was looking.when i turned back, that one was looking. and then before that one left, he looked my way as if to telepathy the bye (erm, that was just meee :P). now am still thinking whether that one gave me that look. i need like two more days to check to see. rawr, i make it sound like rocket science this entire checking out thing. yesyes, i do have a life, i just get a kick outta this. gimme this one :)
had lunch with Ming earlier and laughed our heads off talking about my person she calls, "not so true love". iiick we know, we get it. weve made a long list of our cast of characters following this iick theme. dig in: (1) si Asian teddy bear athletic classmate -- it used to have the words chinese and basketball until we figured it was such a giveaway. and then the bear series (2) grizzly athletic bear -- who is not a classmate and managed to get into our conversation and (2) the cute and cuddly koala athletic bear classamte, who i, btw, love to bitsss :)
[/edit] today caught me staring like crazy (cuh-rey-zeeeh for the effect). i was in such a "good" position that i can look without getting caught (or so i think, says friendcess -- and uh, this is soo gradeschool, but am liking it :P). he was effortlessly adorable. and um, cute. and um, really endearing to look at --- erm, wrong, sounded so mommy. but really, it was fun looking and trying not to get caught. haha. and then i got caught - just once, and friendcess says if he caught me looking, then he must be looking, too (iick. eew. aaack. sorreh). haha, this is getting too detailed it's making me gag. but yeah, he isnt really beautifulbeautiful but hes fun to look at. and that disarming stare. and he looks clean. maybe hes mabango, too. iiick, may perv factor na yun sorreh. yeah, you can tell i like him :)
***
this afternoon was WC reading session. we read two poems which were brilliant in their own rights. "Father", the free verse with the "enjamb"-ed parts, and the Jorie Graham "I was Taught Three" which sent us spinning. and well, feeling like very small, uncapable writers. haha. the entire thing was fun. Moral of the entire thing: read more, and uh, according to me, reading with other people around reading with you is way fun-ner and more exciting.
uhm, why do i get the feeling that i write better in the wee hours of the morning? i liked my previous entry better thatn this, uh, very gradeschool diary-sounding thing i am publising... NOW.
***
[/edit. uh, yes again]
i found Pon and Zi in the internet the other day :) i just need some show and tell space :)
***
hoorray to proscrastination :D *not that itsa good thing in itself* but today, all my wishing paid off -- the SEA30 exam and the 175 midterms moved to thursday :) weeeeee!
*thinks again* and i just realized it got put off, but am still taking it in two days time. howell, whoever said you can have your cake and eat it, too. *there goes my cliche quota fulfilled for the day :)*
***
i seriously think my SEA30 teacher was wearing eye liner earlier. waw, watta way to start my day, Sir. thanks. okay, with that out of the way, lets go. when i came to class, that one was looking. before i sat down, that one was looking.when i turned back, that one was looking. and then before that one left, he looked my way as if to telepathy the bye (erm, that was just meee :P). now am still thinking whether that one gave me that look. i need like two more days to check to see. rawr, i make it sound like rocket science this entire checking out thing. yesyes, i do have a life, i just get a kick outta this. gimme this one :)
had lunch with Ming earlier and laughed our heads off talking about my person she calls, "not so true love". iiick we know, we get it. weve made a long list of our cast of characters following this iick theme. dig in: (1) si Asian teddy bear athletic classmate -- it used to have the words chinese and basketball until we figured it was such a giveaway. and then the bear series (2) grizzly athletic bear -- who is not a classmate and managed to get into our conversation and (2) the cute and cuddly koala athletic bear classamte, who i, btw, love to bitsss :)
[/edit] today caught me staring like crazy (cuh-rey-zeeeh for the effect). i was in such a "good" position that i can look without getting caught (or so i think, says friendcess -- and uh, this is soo gradeschool, but am liking it :P). he was effortlessly adorable. and um, cute. and um, really endearing to look at --- erm, wrong, sounded so mommy. but really, it was fun looking and trying not to get caught. haha. and then i got caught - just once, and friendcess says if he caught me looking, then he must be looking, too (iick. eew. aaack. sorreh). haha, this is getting too detailed it's making me gag. but yeah, he isnt really beautifulbeautiful but hes fun to look at. and that disarming stare. and he looks clean. maybe hes mabango, too. iiick, may perv factor na yun sorreh. yeah, you can tell i like him :)
***
this afternoon was WC reading session. we read two poems which were brilliant in their own rights. "Father", the free verse with the "enjamb"-ed parts, and the Jorie Graham "I was Taught Three" which sent us spinning. and well, feeling like very small, uncapable writers. haha. the entire thing was fun. Moral of the entire thing: read more, and uh, according to me, reading with other people around reading with you is way fun-ner and more exciting.
uhm, why do i get the feeling that i write better in the wee hours of the morning? i liked my previous entry better thatn this, uh, very gradeschool diary-sounding thing i am publising... NOW.
***
[/edit. uh, yes again]
i found Pon and Zi in the internet the other day :) i just need some show and tell space :)
arent they the cutest? :) i love the "this is how you make my tummy feel". my that one still doesnt make me feel that. um, you, where exactly are you? :) haha.
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