What Do You Like In A Boy?

"What do you like in a boy?"

If I were given a hundred pesos for every time this question is thrown at me, I can probably get me new a iPhone. Haha that's a stretch, but you get the drift. When people find out that I'm single and not dating, they feel compelled to run up their list of boys and try to match them to the boy that I will be describing.

The thing is, every single time I am thrown this question, I find myself just looking out the window and spacing out. The words choke me out. (It doesn't really help that on one of the times I was asked this, the boy I wanted to describe was seated across me, so I most definitely choked. If that's not awkward, I'm not sure what iz). For some reason, I am drowned in embarrassment and I feel a little too naked to be talking about THE boy.

So this time, I'm writing this down. Next time I get asked, I will come prepared. Also, this is me throwing it out there that this is THE boy that I like. I trust in the powers that will eventually (hopefully sooner than later) bring me and this boy together. Naks!

Photo Credit: bradley.chattablogs.com

Let's get to the boy in question. Even when I choked the last time, this much I was able to say - he has to be tall, and taller than me even when I'm in heels. Broad shoulders are a must and hopefully he is well-built, too. I remember having this conversation with a friend about how big girls always like men that are bigger than them. I think it's this perennial paranoia that has to do with your your boy being to envelope you and make you look like a small, can-pass-for-a-damsel-in-distress kinda girl.

I want a scruffy boy. Much as this is getting all nit-picky, since I'm throwing this out there, then might as well. I want THE boy to be good looking enough to pull off the "dirty look" -- requisite 5 o'clock shadow and that easy, I-didn't-think-about-this-but-I-look-put-together kinda style. Heee. Oh, and he has to look smashing in a pullover. (Okay, I think the boy I like now is falling off from my THE boy list! :p haha)

My boy has to be able to talk well. I am sucker for great conversations and if you can't give me that, that would be a deal breaker. I've tried hanging out, not necessarily on a date, with really pretty boys who can't carry their own on small witty banters and I really found myself turned off. Apparently, I can tolerate less-pretty-but-witty than I can tolerate pretty-but-no-wit. Great conversations are a must.

I also want someone who is someone his family and friends will vouch for and say is a good person. I've known quite a lot of people and those generally well-vouched for are usually the ones that have a good grip on their values. I can't be with someone who does things just because they're cool. I guess 24 (or older) is just too old to be doing things that way. I need someone who can stand his ground and who knows, or at least has a good idea, of why he's doing what he's doing.

I need someone fun and can be spontaneous. I've lived all my life always walking on the safe side and always being scared of breaking the rules. I'm too scared of breaking the rules I end up going about day in and day out just thinking about the rules. I'm not saying I want someone who is a rule-breaker. What I'm saying is I want someone who knows the rules, knows how to play the rules, and knows how to toe the boundaries. Because yeah, if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space :p

I want someone that's fun to travel with. Or better yet, I want someone that's just fun to be with.  I know I'm having fun when I have no care for whatever's around me or wherever I am. If things around me stop to matter, then I'm having the best time :) I need someone who can make me feel that.

I need someone who wants to take care of me. That's never really been my strong suit but I'm working on it. So in the meantime that I'm a work in progress, I hope THE boy takes care of that department. And well, even when taking care of people becomes my strong suit, I still want THE boy to take care of me.

There will be more things I like in a boy. Maybe one post just isn't enough :p Oh, and before I forget, THE boy's hand should feel just right to the hold. This I don't know how to describe, but I'm pretty sure when we get there, I will just know :)

It's You Again, Non-Phantom Person

15 May 2011
As much as I’d like to not admit it, I spent considerable time this week waiting for {insert favorite day} to come.

I got to {insert place} a little before 1PM. I went to my usual parking lot and who should I see marching towards the open lot but {insert name}. As I was backing up {insert name} was making his way to his car, parked incidentally in the same lot. I smile to myself and thought, how’s that for waiting all week?

As I watched him walking, I apparently said out aloud, “Did I really like this guy?”

I was looking at him and he just looked painfully shy, although I know he wasn't. He looked unsure to me, too, although I know he wasn't. All of I sudden, I wondered to myself if this was the guy I wrote a boatload of random stuff in word documents about. It just oddly felt like another person.

I put all my things together, dabbed on my smudging eyeliner, put a little bit more blusher, and made my way out. I enter {insert fast food} and I see him there in {insert where he was}. He immediately says something about which table I could take. I settle down in one of the booths, and make sure I can see him from where I was seated.

We never made conversation that day. Well two, if a "hey" and a "I'll leave my computer here yeah?" counts. I never saw any of the awesome things I thought he was that day. He felt like a totally different person from the one I remembered a week ago.

Yeah, I think there is the real live {insert name} and my phantom person. Two different people. Oh well. I’ll see him again {insert day when I'll see him again}. Let’s see how that pans out.

You, Person, You

11 May 2011
I’m more than surprised that up until today you’re still staying rent-free inside my head 2 weeks after that fateful day when you were so sweet you {insert that secret sweet thing you did}. I haven’t seen you for over a week and I have actually forgotten your face; I have forgotten how you look like. All I remember is how you have a preference for plaid and how I think you really need a haircut.

I have also not forgotten how terribly nice of a person you are and how likeable you are to everyone. And more than anything, I also will never forget the great cheesy irony of how I feel about you – how awkward I feel around you but at the same time how right at home I feel with you. Whoah. That WAS cheesy.

I’m a little confused with this, I don’t know what this is. I know I like the idea of you but I’m not sure if I like you you. You are excellent on paper and my biggest fear is that I have projected all these winning qualities on you, given I have written a shitload about you. Thoughts not necessarily of facts about you but more of thoughts of how I think you are. I’m scared that I’m liking a phantom person; made of all the awesome things I badly want you to be.

But I guess I’m too giddy to pay attention to that now. I’m too drunk with possibilities to actually consider how loud a thud this would make if it ends up falling apart. Today, all my head cares about is how I’m liking how this is turning out in my head. What I’m sure of is how when I got hit on by this someone with that {insert weird compliment} , all I could think about was how much I like you.

This is getting scarier and scarier as I put more and more blocks on top of this {insert name} tower. I keep pulling blocks from behind my ear as I watch the tower grow. Some of it real, none of it real; I don’t really know, I can’t really tell.

Or it could be just as simple as me liking someone. But I refuse to see it as that. Because even if this can get scary, all this creation of a phantom person, all the endless possibilities, it’s infinitely funner than just calling it what it exactly is – simply liking someone. Let's roll with it for now.

Very Vague Thoughts for the Sake of Novelty

It's 10AM on a beautiful Monday morning and in the middle of completing my weekly reports, I'm shuffling in-between browsers. I'm trying to sneak in a morning journal entry to try to put to writing some thoughts and things.

I've been wondering, looking for a way to write this that doesn't call much attention to. Yeah, and I kinda figured that's exactly the way to call attention to it. So, let's just pretend I didn't write that and roll with the Monday thoughts, yeah?

***
There is no feeling, only thinking. Do you know "The Cheklist"? I've been ticking a lot of those boxes on my own checklist. It's a little scary because I haven't stopped thinking about this since the checklist gods went to work. If you don't know "The Checklist" I'm sorry, I can't tell you.

I am trying my best to be vague, to give away a teeny tiny bit so you get an idea (I hope) of what I'm saying but not give away too much that it cheapens the whole thing. You know how when you talk about something too much the novelty runs away faster than the Kenyan marathoner? That's the last thing I want to happen, especially since nothing has really happened. At best, it's a beginning I don't want to jinx. At worst this is but just me and my wandering mind.

So for now, I will leave it at that. Maybe some entries here and there, entries that will be very very vague they may be annoying. Or adorable, can't really say. But consider yourself warned. In the meantime, l let it linger.