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| Photo credit: PostSecret |
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Looking for the Next High
Does growing older have the power to dull feelings?
I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. For the past year or so, I've been trying to look for the "next high" -- that moment of euphoria, that flood of excitement, that amazing sense of wide-eyed wonder.
First Time
I've been trying to get that beautiful feeling of a "first time" -- that moment when as a pre-schooler you step into your first museum or the first time you see lion up close in a zoo and you'r washed with this inexplainable happiness at the joy of the experience.
That moment when as a twelve year old you were allowed by your parents for the first time to go to the mall with your friends unaccompanied. That moment in high school when your Dad first lent you the car and you drove around with your student license feeling like a total boss. Small moments that make you feel invincible.
That time when in college you were allowed to your first sleepover, or first out of town with friends. The moment when you first walk the streets of a foreign country and the idea of being not in the Philippines feels so surreal. Everything feels so new and I love how you just drown in the novelty of it all and it's like an altered reality.
That moment when you first step into Disneyland where everything is magical. As a 17-year old, I understood that it was all "staged" but there was this undeniable feeling of awe in my belly. My brain, for that moment, chose to shut off all rational adult explanations of why and how things work. Smehow I found it in me to just get lost in the experience, to feel that spring in my every step in the park, to savor that "kid" that I let lose with every picture with Mickey Mouse and friends. I miss that feeling.
That time when you felt responsible for another person's feelings because you care about them so much. That time when you went out of your way because a good friend needed you to be a friend and you both felt like real adults talking about money and careers and marriage and children. It's small moments that make you feel like you are breaking through.
Insulated Reality
Just lately I feel that I am not totally "feeling" things. It oddly seems like things are happening around me and it doesn't quite register. New "first times" are happenings but I oddly don't feel like I'm there. It's like I'm in a bubble and I'm insulated from the event, just selectively feeling the more palpable parts. It's like my brain has a vague idea of what is happening but I don't quite "get" the whole experience.
None of the raw, exciting wide-eyed wonder. None of the weird feelings in the tummy. None of happy feelings of novelty. Only a muted, barely there sensation, reminding me that this or that event is happening to me.
Next High?
So there is this He that is playing this staring game with me. The "me" two, three years ago would've had this screaming teenager inside my head, giddy and brimming with excitement at just that thought of this He. Not even because this He is playing the staring game but just the idea of this He.
The "me" now is not moved. And it's not because I don't want to be. I want to be moved! I want to feel that rush of excitement and have that screaming teenager run around my head to remind me how fun it is to be young and carefree.
The "me" now feels like just standing idly by, watching all these things happening. Yeah, it's cute He is playing this staring game but it's not waking up the screaming teenager in me. Yeah, it is putting to action some imagination muscles looking into some future time when He actually stops just staring and actually starts talking. But it doesn't feel like a jolt to the system, it doesn't feel like an unnatural thought able to disturb the peace and the steady of my adult thinking.
It's not that I don't want to be steady or stable or normal. I guess I'm just looking to feel -- to really, absolutely, indescribably feel. I want to feel alive. I want that next high.
I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. For the past year or so, I've been trying to look for the "next high" -- that moment of euphoria, that flood of excitement, that amazing sense of wide-eyed wonder.
First Time
I've been trying to get that beautiful feeling of a "first time" -- that moment when as a pre-schooler you step into your first museum or the first time you see lion up close in a zoo and you'r washed with this inexplainable happiness at the joy of the experience.
That moment when as a twelve year old you were allowed by your parents for the first time to go to the mall with your friends unaccompanied. That moment in high school when your Dad first lent you the car and you drove around with your student license feeling like a total boss. Small moments that make you feel invincible.
That time when in college you were allowed to your first sleepover, or first out of town with friends. The moment when you first walk the streets of a foreign country and the idea of being not in the Philippines feels so surreal. Everything feels so new and I love how you just drown in the novelty of it all and it's like an altered reality.
That moment when you first step into Disneyland where everything is magical. As a 17-year old, I understood that it was all "staged" but there was this undeniable feeling of awe in my belly. My brain, for that moment, chose to shut off all rational adult explanations of why and how things work. Smehow I found it in me to just get lost in the experience, to feel that spring in my every step in the park, to savor that "kid" that I let lose with every picture with Mickey Mouse and friends. I miss that feeling.
That time when you felt responsible for another person's feelings because you care about them so much. That time when you went out of your way because a good friend needed you to be a friend and you both felt like real adults talking about money and careers and marriage and children. It's small moments that make you feel like you are breaking through.
Insulated Reality
Just lately I feel that I am not totally "feeling" things. It oddly seems like things are happening around me and it doesn't quite register. New "first times" are happenings but I oddly don't feel like I'm there. It's like I'm in a bubble and I'm insulated from the event, just selectively feeling the more palpable parts. It's like my brain has a vague idea of what is happening but I don't quite "get" the whole experience.
None of the raw, exciting wide-eyed wonder. None of the weird feelings in the tummy. None of happy feelings of novelty. Only a muted, barely there sensation, reminding me that this or that event is happening to me.
Next High?
So there is this He that is playing this staring game with me. The "me" two, three years ago would've had this screaming teenager inside my head, giddy and brimming with excitement at just that thought of this He. Not even because this He is playing the staring game but just the idea of this He.
The "me" now is not moved. And it's not because I don't want to be. I want to be moved! I want to feel that rush of excitement and have that screaming teenager run around my head to remind me how fun it is to be young and carefree.
The "me" now feels like just standing idly by, watching all these things happening. Yeah, it's cute He is playing this staring game but it's not waking up the screaming teenager in me. Yeah, it is putting to action some imagination muscles looking into some future time when He actually stops just staring and actually starts talking. But it doesn't feel like a jolt to the system, it doesn't feel like an unnatural thought able to disturb the peace and the steady of my adult thinking.
It's not that I don't want to be steady or stable or normal. I guess I'm just looking to feel -- to really, absolutely, indescribably feel. I want to feel alive. I want that next high.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Adventures of She
It was a KFC buzzing with a handful of people. The aircon inside was freezing, stark against the sticky summer air outside. She made her way to a table which was probably a good twenty steps from the door. She wanted to talk to Ton to get a file from Ton's computer. As She approached, He started to look tensed. He looked a little panicked when He realized She was headed to His table. She was about 5 steps away when He realized She was there for Ton.
Somewhere along the conversation, He offered to lend Her his thumb drive. Ton introduced them, She met Him, He met Her. Awkward hello's.
***
It was one rainy Thursday evening in KFC (again). He was seated in the table by the door, She was seated in the table awkwardly angled with Her right side to Him. There was a space, where the tables part leading to the counter and another row of tables between His table and Her table. He was minding his thing, She was minding hers, while quietly stealing glances His way.
Not long after, Her friends started filling the seats in the table between them. He was on the phone, She was trying to crane her neck to steal glances His way. It was awkward, She'd look at His face for a few quick seconds and quickly look away. She didn't want Him to catch Her eye. Then it happened.
She slowly looked His way expecting to graze His face with her eyes, look at His cute little eyebrows, steal a glance of his perfect, beautiful hands, and then look away. But this time, Her eyes were met by His.
Somewhere along the conversation, He offered to lend Her his thumb drive. Ton introduced them, She met Him, He met Her. Awkward hello's.
***
It was one rainy Thursday evening in KFC (again). He was seated in the table by the door, She was seated in the table awkwardly angled with Her right side to Him. There was a space, where the tables part leading to the counter and another row of tables between His table and Her table. He was minding his thing, She was minding hers, while quietly stealing glances His way.
Not long after, Her friends started filling the seats in the table between them. He was on the phone, She was trying to crane her neck to steal glances His way. It was awkward, She'd look at His face for a few quick seconds and quickly look away. She didn't want Him to catch Her eye. Then it happened.
She slowly looked His way expecting to graze His face with her eyes, look at His cute little eyebrows, steal a glance of his perfect, beautiful hands, and then look away. But this time, Her eyes were met by His.
Friday, April 06, 2012
Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Black Saturday aka Bye Bye TV Backlog Time
(Been meaning to post this last night but our internet conked out on me. Now the internet's baaack. So here goes. This post a little too gabby - you have been warned. Haha)
It's been a busy couple of months and the 3 free days from Pinoy Holy Week is a very much welcome break. For my non-beach going family, the Holy Week just means staying in and reacquainting with the house. For me, it also means "Catch Up On My TV Backlog" time :)
I've been meaning to write out a schedule for the 3 days to make sure I don't go back to "real life" next week feeling like the 'staycation' kinda slipped thru my fingers just like that. But yeah, no schedule yet. It's all in my head still, heee. I'm too giddy about getting 3 free days to think haha.
Well for one, I said I was gonna wake up early today to catch up on reading. But surprise surprise - I got up at noon just in time for lunch. Forgot to set the alarm last night! But list or no list, I've just been loving the whole 'kicking back and steady lounging' in the house. (But I think I may have to come up with a list soon, cabin fever is slowly and steadily creeping up as well hehe)
The Thursday List
I've ticked off a few things on this list in my head. I'm all caught up with "New Girl" and "Happy Endings" at least. Both shows have been going up steadily in my TV priority list! The "Happy Endings" brand of weird has successfully grown endearing and "New Girl" has become unexpectedly great. I also accidentally finished "Blue Valentine" this afternoon. I caught the first half of Blue Valentine a good few months ago and never got around to watching the rest to finish. I opened it earlier just to check where I stopped last time and ended up finishing the movie! It's so strikingly sad and brings to the fore all the things you're scared of might turn bad in your relationship. ( I think there will be a Blue Valentine entry.) So to kind of counter that 'real-ness' from all the Blue Valentine and dirty sex and balding Ryan Gosling which doesn't exactly add up to sunshine and smiles, I have decided to fill the TV list with all sitcoms.
What Friday Looks Like
Despite what oddly feels and looks like cabin fever (after only a full day spent at home) my Friday looks like another TV day. While I intend to get some actual "things" (aka non-TV related things) done tomorrow, I will dedicate time for Chuck, which I am 8 episodes behind. And also Cougar Town, which I am 5 episodes behind (Why I take on this much TV and why I feel compelled to watch all this TV is a mystery even to me, so no explanations in the next few lines.) I also have some new shows which I am excited to preview.
I found out that Lenon Parham's "BFF's" just premiered today. I loved Lenon as Abby (aka Blabby-gail) in "Accidentally on Purpose" and I'm excited to see this new show of hers. I read the credits and she apparently produced the show as well. There's also this other show "Bent" from NBC which I've been waiting on since David Walton stars in it. Walton is the lanky, brooding guy (think more pensive and poised, more suave version of Zach Levi) from "Perfect Couples". He topbills "Bent" with Amanda Peet, who I think is pretty and very charming, as well. Friday's booked solid (said the kid with no friends :p)
Actual "Things"
I've had "Eat Pray Love" the book open since JR's birthday Bora in January of last year. Since I started taking my reading list seriously and added more business books to the reperoire, Liz Gilbert has been collecting dust in the book shelf. I want to give time to more leisurely reading tomorrow. And maybe some David Sedaris, too.
There is also some writing to be done. The Goal Book and oh, I want to start writing my own bucket list! Let's see how much of this actual list gets done. I wish us all a great weekend! :)
It's been a busy couple of months and the 3 free days from Pinoy Holy Week is a very much welcome break. For my non-beach going family, the Holy Week just means staying in and reacquainting with the house. For me, it also means "Catch Up On My TV Backlog" time :)
I've been meaning to write out a schedule for the 3 days to make sure I don't go back to "real life" next week feeling like the 'staycation' kinda slipped thru my fingers just like that. But yeah, no schedule yet. It's all in my head still, heee. I'm too giddy about getting 3 free days to think haha.
Well for one, I said I was gonna wake up early today to catch up on reading. But surprise surprise - I got up at noon just in time for lunch. Forgot to set the alarm last night! But list or no list, I've just been loving the whole 'kicking back and steady lounging' in the house. (But I think I may have to come up with a list soon, cabin fever is slowly and steadily creeping up as well hehe)
 | ||||||||||||||
| Brad & Jane, Alex & Dave, Penny & Max I don't understand why I like this show it makes me so happyyy :) |
The Thursday List
I've ticked off a few things on this list in my head. I'm all caught up with "New Girl" and "Happy Endings" at least. Both shows have been going up steadily in my TV priority list! The "Happy Endings" brand of weird has successfully grown endearing and "New Girl" has become unexpectedly great. I also accidentally finished "Blue Valentine" this afternoon. I caught the first half of Blue Valentine a good few months ago and never got around to watching the rest to finish. I opened it earlier just to check where I stopped last time and ended up finishing the movie! It's so strikingly sad and brings to the fore all the things you're scared of might turn bad in your relationship. ( I think there will be a Blue Valentine entry.) So to kind of counter that 'real-ness' from all the Blue Valentine and dirty sex and balding Ryan Gosling which doesn't exactly add up to sunshine and smiles, I have decided to fill the TV list with all sitcoms.
What Friday Looks Like
Despite what oddly feels and looks like cabin fever (after only a full day spent at home) my Friday looks like another TV day. While I intend to get some actual "things" (aka non-TV related things) done tomorrow, I will dedicate time for Chuck, which I am 8 episodes behind. And also Cougar Town, which I am 5 episodes behind (Why I take on this much TV and why I feel compelled to watch all this TV is a mystery even to me, so no explanations in the next few lines.) I also have some new shows which I am excited to preview.
 |
| It's Lenon Parham of "Accidentally on Purpose". Let's see, let's see. |
I found out that Lenon Parham's "BFF's" just premiered today. I loved Lenon as Abby (aka Blabby-gail) in "Accidentally on Purpose" and I'm excited to see this new show of hers. I read the credits and she apparently produced the show as well. There's also this other show "Bent" from NBC which I've been waiting on since David Walton stars in it. Walton is the lanky, brooding guy (think more pensive and poised, more suave version of Zach Levi) from "Perfect Couples". He topbills "Bent" with Amanda Peet, who I think is pretty and very charming, as well. Friday's booked solid (said the kid with no friends :p)
 |
| It's Amanda Peet and the cute guy fro (the show that flopped) "Perfect Couples". I could always use a rom-com :) |
Actual "Things"
I've had "Eat Pray Love" the book open since JR's birthday Bora in January of last year. Since I started taking my reading list seriously and added more business books to the reperoire, Liz Gilbert has been collecting dust in the book shelf. I want to give time to more leisurely reading tomorrow. And maybe some David Sedaris, too.
There is also some writing to be done. The Goal Book and oh, I want to start writing my own bucket list! Let's see how much of this actual list gets done. I wish us all a great weekend! :)
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
Berating Self: Online Edition
I write so I remember - I say on the blurb of this blog. Now, I am writing so I remember.. to do. I've been meaning to do many many many things. But as all things you *should* do go, well, they don't get done (by me, hehe.)
This is me berating myself online to remind me of things I should be doing (because I promised myself I would) but am not doing. Self frustrations in 3..2..
Running
I have been meaning to run since March. Heck, I have been meaning to run when the year started last January! And then it got pushed to February, for my birthday. And then to March, because I never got around to it in February. And now April -- because it feels like the last chance to get started. My vision board says I ought to be running 21K's come July 2012 -- that's assuming I picked up after myself and actually went on program July of 2011. But I didn't. So here I am, 3 months away from my target 21K, not even sure if my lungs can keep up with a measly 5K.
Not cool, self. Not cool. So what to do now?
I actually jumpstarted running yesterday. Mum forcibly got me out of bed at 630AM and successfully got me to run with her in the village basketball court. That we stopped 20mins into it notwithstanding, the important thing being that I STARTED running again.
Now the clincher is today. Whether I can haul my ass outta bed for the second day. The verdict? A big fat NO. Just when I realized full well that the secret to good, sustainable behavior is consistency. Not big fancy ceremonies for when you start -- but the dirty second day. The question lies on whether you can repeat it again and again and again until it becomes the normal.
So running is a big fat flop. I can always try again tomorrow. Hello self, 21K?
Waking Up at 5AM
I wrote a few days ago about a habit I read in the wonderful book by Robin Sharma "The Leader Without a Title." The book suggests that leaders wake up at 5AM EVERYDAY, and have longer, more productive days than the rest of the population.
In all fairness to the book, it admits that starting your day at 5AM is NOT easy. It actually even went on to say that the first week will be the hardest. It admits that some people who started the practice of waking up at 5AM were cranky and unhappy in the first week. But it also promises that just after 40 days of consistently waking up at 5AM, it becomes a default.
I want that default. I want to be that person with a longer, more productive day than the rest. But my Day 1 of the "40 Day Wake Up at 5AM Challenge" keeps getting pushed back.
Another day, another dollar. Tomorrow day 1, yes?
Hello self. Running and waking up at 5AM. Game?
This is me berating myself online to remind me of things I should be doing (because I promised myself I would) but am not doing. Self frustrations in 3..2..
Running
I have been meaning to run since March. Heck, I have been meaning to run when the year started last January! And then it got pushed to February, for my birthday. And then to March, because I never got around to it in February. And now April -- because it feels like the last chance to get started. My vision board says I ought to be running 21K's come July 2012 -- that's assuming I picked up after myself and actually went on program July of 2011. But I didn't. So here I am, 3 months away from my target 21K, not even sure if my lungs can keep up with a measly 5K.
Not cool, self. Not cool. So what to do now?
 |
| Ang aking running peg - bra top and fierce ponytail |
I actually jumpstarted running yesterday. Mum forcibly got me out of bed at 630AM and successfully got me to run with her in the village basketball court. That we stopped 20mins into it notwithstanding, the important thing being that I STARTED running again.
Now the clincher is today. Whether I can haul my ass outta bed for the second day. The verdict? A big fat NO. Just when I realized full well that the secret to good, sustainable behavior is consistency. Not big fancy ceremonies for when you start -- but the dirty second day. The question lies on whether you can repeat it again and again and again until it becomes the normal.
So running is a big fat flop. I can always try again tomorrow. Hello self, 21K?
Waking Up at 5AM
I wrote a few days ago about a habit I read in the wonderful book by Robin Sharma "The Leader Without a Title." The book suggests that leaders wake up at 5AM EVERYDAY, and have longer, more productive days than the rest of the population.
 |
| Photo credit: 5am Sky alternative by Jay photo |
In all fairness to the book, it admits that starting your day at 5AM is NOT easy. It actually even went on to say that the first week will be the hardest. It admits that some people who started the practice of waking up at 5AM were cranky and unhappy in the first week. But it also promises that just after 40 days of consistently waking up at 5AM, it becomes a default.
I want that default. I want to be that person with a longer, more productive day than the rest. But my Day 1 of the "40 Day Wake Up at 5AM Challenge" keeps getting pushed back.
Another day, another dollar. Tomorrow day 1, yes?
Hello self. Running and waking up at 5AM. Game?
Monday, April 02, 2012
Why I Love Nick Miller
I was on the fence when New Girl started. In fact, I almost didn't continue watching. I remember deleting the first 2 eps -- for me it didn't merit a folder in my TV files (haha, I'm snooty like that). And then somehow, somewhere along episode 3, things turned around.
I guess the show picked up it's groove and New Girl grew on me. Suddenly, the humor clicked with me, the characters became extra endearing, and the story seemed to resonate so much with me.
And then my love affair with Nick Miller happened :)
(haha natawa naman ako, kala mo real life lang!
Nick Miller, Why Do I Love Thee?
Nick Miller, former law school student, 3 months away from a law degree, is a bartender. He dropped out of law school and the elusive law degree has been a sore issue since. Of the 3 boys in the New Girl house, he's the blandest personality-wise, least alpha male-ish, and most emotionally in-tune. He also has the most emotional baggage, the most personal issues, and the most regrets. But I love him anyway :)
There's something about Nick Miller that resonates so well with me. He's like a fictional version of all the ghosts inside my head. He's the uncertain, jaded voice inside my head that quietly tells me why things are not possible. He's the insecure grown up that is scared of the future. He feels like that devil's advocate inside my head in that adorable, scruffy, and disarmingly cute package.
He puts to words things I dare not say out loud - heck, even things I dare not let enter my mind in thought. In the "Bells" episode, I was squirming while watching that scene with him and Winston. Nick and Schmidt were fighting in the episode because Schmidt wants to use his disposable income to ensure a functioning apartment while Nick was being all sore about being poor and insisting on trying to do the apartment repairs himself. At the peak of the childish fight, Nick retreats to the roof and has this weird/endearing conversation with Winston. There's something about this conversation that hit home so hard:
I love Nick Miller for being whiny and full of regrets and charming and his own brand of cute. I love Nick Miller for showing me what I kind of 30-year-old I should NOT be.
P.S. I also love Nick Miller for showing me the kind of scruffy that I like :p
I guess the show picked up it's groove and New Girl grew on me. Suddenly, the humor clicked with me, the characters became extra endearing, and the story seemed to resonate so much with me.
And then my love affair with Nick Miller happened :)
(haha natawa naman ako, kala mo real life lang!
 |
| New Girl's Nick Miller and his "take me seriously" look |
Nick Miller, Why Do I Love Thee?
Nick Miller, former law school student, 3 months away from a law degree, is a bartender. He dropped out of law school and the elusive law degree has been a sore issue since. Of the 3 boys in the New Girl house, he's the blandest personality-wise, least alpha male-ish, and most emotionally in-tune. He also has the most emotional baggage, the most personal issues, and the most regrets. But I love him anyway :)
There's something about Nick Miller that resonates so well with me. He's like a fictional version of all the ghosts inside my head. He's the uncertain, jaded voice inside my head that quietly tells me why things are not possible. He's the insecure grown up that is scared of the future. He feels like that devil's advocate inside my head in that adorable, scruffy, and disarmingly cute package.
He puts to words things I dare not say out loud - heck, even things I dare not let enter my mind in thought. In the "Bells" episode, I was squirming while watching that scene with him and Winston. Nick and Schmidt were fighting in the episode because Schmidt wants to use his disposable income to ensure a functioning apartment while Nick was being all sore about being poor and insisting on trying to do the apartment repairs himself. At the peak of the childish fight, Nick retreats to the roof and has this weird/endearing conversation with Winston. There's something about this conversation that hit home so hard:
Nick: You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long.They've got too much on ya. I want friends who still lie to me cos they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kinda mean that.I guess Nick is the 30 year old person I never want to be. But he's cute and scruffy and charming and inviting - much like how doing nothing and letting go and letting things just "happen to you" is cute and charming and inviting. Nick Miller is so promising just as I feel as I am promising. But I guess he brings to the fore, and very clearly at that, the kind of 30 year old I don't want to be.
Winston: What happened to us, man? We used to be so cool. I was gonna play basketball and be a gazillionaire.
I love Nick Miller for being whiny and full of regrets and charming and his own brand of cute. I love Nick Miller for showing me what I kind of 30-year-old I should NOT be.
P.S. I also love Nick Miller for showing me the kind of scruffy that I like :p
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
"Aspire" Author Kevin Hall in the Philippines!
We were very privileged yesterday to have met in the flesh, "Aspire"author, human being extraordinaire... Kevin Hall! Prior to yesterday, I had very little idea who Kevin Hall is. We were told that he is a bestselling writer as well as life coach to many successful and well-known people. The one that stuck the most was that he has worked closely with Oprah. The short intro left me intrigued -- actually just more on the Oprah part. Haha.
I am very thankful for the opportunity to have heard this wonderful man talk and experience first hand the brilliance of his ideas. I am writing to share one of the very special things I took away from yesterday's training that I think will be very big help for anyone looking to be better, happier, and a come a little more closer to knowing themselves more.
"Genshai"
Kevin talked about a very powerful word, "Genshai." He said how we treat others is a mere reflection of how we see ourselves. When we see others as small and inferior, it's not because we are "big" and confident. We may not know it but that is how exactly we see ourselves.
One question raised in the audience was very interesting. The man went, "How do you show love to yourself so you can show love to others?"
Kevin shared 5 Declarations he tells himself every morning to assure his love for himself.
1. I AM WORTHY
2. I AM CAPABLE
3. I AM GRATEFUL
4. I FORGIVE MYSELF AND OTHERS
5. I TRUST MYSELF
I wanted to dismiss it as nothing more than positive self talk. Until Kevin asked us to say it aloud. I cannot believe how powerful the words are. I was only able to say "I am worthy" and I choked. I had a lump in my throat and I couldn't continue on to say the next four words, lest I burst into unexplainable tears.
I knew the words. I knew I am worthy, capable, grateful, that I can forgive, and that I trust myself. But there was something so different about saying it out loud and dismissing all doubt that I AM ALL THAT.
Do you believe you are all that? Give yourself the gift of love. You owe it to yourself to know that all that and more :)
I am very thankful for the opportunity to have heard this wonderful man talk and experience first hand the brilliance of his ideas. I am writing to share one of the very special things I took away from yesterday's training that I think will be very big help for anyone looking to be better, happier, and a come a little more closer to knowing themselves more.
"Genshai"
Kevin talked about a very powerful word, "Genshai." He said how we treat others is a mere reflection of how we see ourselves. When we see others as small and inferior, it's not because we are "big" and confident. We may not know it but that is how exactly we see ourselves.
One question raised in the audience was very interesting. The man went, "How do you show love to yourself so you can show love to others?"
Kevin shared 5 Declarations he tells himself every morning to assure his love for himself.
1. I AM WORTHY
2. I AM CAPABLE
3. I AM GRATEFUL
4. I FORGIVE MYSELF AND OTHERS
5. I TRUST MYSELF
I wanted to dismiss it as nothing more than positive self talk. Until Kevin asked us to say it aloud. I cannot believe how powerful the words are. I was only able to say "I am worthy" and I choked. I had a lump in my throat and I couldn't continue on to say the next four words, lest I burst into unexplainable tears.
I knew the words. I knew I am worthy, capable, grateful, that I can forgive, and that I trust myself. But there was something so different about saying it out loud and dismissing all doubt that I AM ALL THAT.
Do you believe you are all that? Give yourself the gift of love. You owe it to yourself to know that all that and more :)
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Biggest Successes are the Biggest Hearts, Too!
Surot, Poleng, and I were at an event yesterday at the Mega Conference Hall where Traci were to speak. We had a few minutes to kill before the program starts so I decided to come up to Traci and ask for photos.
Just to help put things in perspective, Traci is one half of the THE Traci and Monte Schumacher. They are very, very, very successful business people from Provo, Utah (if I am correct, heee).She is a fitness coach and her husband is a retired army man. They built a business empire spanning 52 countries in 25 years and still growing and counting. At the present, the money that comes in to their family is staggering.
Just to give you an idea, they can afford to buy one BMW X6 every month. One EVERY MONTH! Not that they do that, but the size of their wealth will allow them to do that if ever they decide to :p
In what feels like a scene straight out of a bad Filipino slapstick comedy, my camera dies just when I was about to take Surot and Traci's photo. I think we were all ready to just shake her hand and head back to our she seats when she said, "Oh, ran out of batter? Let's take with my phone instead!" After which she proceeds to give me her iPhone and went back to gamely posing with Surot. And then Poleng, and myself.
As if the kindness showed wasn't enough to throw us off already, she then proceeds to ask each of us our email addresses. She patiently typed up all our emails on her phone and sent us the pictures right on the spot! We walked back to our seats, all incredulous at what just happened. Poleng even told me she was expecting Traci to be masungit (snooty) so she couldn't believe herself when Traci gave here the tightest squeeze when we took their picture.
I mean it it wholeheartedly when I say Traci is definitely one of the nicest and most sincere people I have ever met. She gives a whole new meaning to warmth and kindness! Thank you Traci for restoring my faith in success and making me want it more. I wrote her in an email that she "inspires me to be more successful if success means being as warm and kind and big-hearted as she is." <3
Just to help put things in perspective, Traci is one half of the THE Traci and Monte Schumacher. They are very, very, very successful business people from Provo, Utah (if I am correct, heee).She is a fitness coach and her husband is a retired army man. They built a business empire spanning 52 countries in 25 years and still growing and counting. At the present, the money that comes in to their family is staggering.
Just to give you an idea, they can afford to buy one BMW X6 every month. One EVERY MONTH! Not that they do that, but the size of their wealth will allow them to do that if ever they decide to :p
 | |||
| With Traci "I Think I'm Part Filipino, Too" Schumacher :) |
As if the kindness showed wasn't enough to throw us off already, she then proceeds to ask each of us our email addresses. She patiently typed up all our emails on her phone and sent us the pictures right on the spot! We walked back to our seats, all incredulous at what just happened. Poleng even told me she was expecting Traci to be masungit (snooty) so she couldn't believe herself when Traci gave here the tightest squeeze when we took their picture.
I mean it it wholeheartedly when I say Traci is definitely one of the nicest and most sincere people I have ever met. She gives a whole new meaning to warmth and kindness! Thank you Traci for restoring my faith in success and making me want it more. I wrote her in an email that she "inspires me to be more successful if success means being as warm and kind and big-hearted as she is." <3
Friday, March 23, 2012
The Joys of 25
I posted this on my Facebook status yesterday:
I was driving yesterday when it dawned on me how much fun-ner life has been (and will be) since I turned 25. (Oh, how I love the driver's seat for moments like these!) Never have I felt more in control, more able, and more ready to take on the world. I have never been this excited. Ever.
3 Adults in the Family
I am just so thankful for many things right now. My parents and I are in a great place in our relationship. They are finally seeing and regarding me as an adult and our relationship feels a whole lot different (and better) compared to when I was transitioning from teenager to fledgling adult. They are according me with more respect as an adult while at the same time keeping the home feeling like a safe place, a refuge.
Love You Long Time (and I mean... looong time)
I am at a time in my life when I can identify the friendships that are most important to me. At 25, you have gone through a considerable number of things (drama included) that bring to the fore the people that make the decision to be an integral part of your life. Amidst transitioning from child to adult, moving out of school and starting with work, and all the life issues in between, there are people who prove themselves to you, over and over and over. These people are a constant and they help shape the person you become, not only because you share common values, but because they are a great influence to you.
The Greats, Up Close
The Heavens have also so graciously gifted me with wonderful business (and life) mentors. The last year has introduced me to many successful people as well as to the opportunity to learn from all of them. I can never be more thankful for the association to all these successes and the hope that the sucessess are replicable in my life as well. It is indeed true that the biggest successes are also the kindest hearts. I am thankful that I have witnessed their successes very closely. More than wanting to achieve the same, or even more success for myself, seeing what kind of wonderful people they turned out to be because of their successes inspires me to work harder to achieve it.
Hunger is a Great Thing
I also realized that the one thing that has been making me happy is how I have never ever this much hungry about learning. I am excited every day because I have learned to see that everyday is an opportunity to learn. My vision for myself is still a work in progress but knowing that every new day is a building block towards that makes waking up everyday worth while.
The Best Is Yet To Come :)
Now more than ever do I believe what T. Harv Eker says, "What you focus on, grows." I have been blessed with the gift of a healthy perspective and I am very grateful to see things the way I see them now. What makes things more exciting is that I believe that - it can only get better from here :)
I just realized today how much I love being 25 :) Never have I felt that the realm of my possibilities been ever bigger than it is now. Cheers to life!
I was driving yesterday when it dawned on me how much fun-ner life has been (and will be) since I turned 25. (Oh, how I love the driver's seat for moments like these!) Never have I felt more in control, more able, and more ready to take on the world. I have never been this excited. Ever.
3 Adults in the Family
I am just so thankful for many things right now. My parents and I are in a great place in our relationship. They are finally seeing and regarding me as an adult and our relationship feels a whole lot different (and better) compared to when I was transitioning from teenager to fledgling adult. They are according me with more respect as an adult while at the same time keeping the home feeling like a safe place, a refuge.
 |
| Familia Zaragoza photo op on my 25th birthday party :p |
Love You Long Time (and I mean... looong time)
I am at a time in my life when I can identify the friendships that are most important to me. At 25, you have gone through a considerable number of things (drama included) that bring to the fore the people that make the decision to be an integral part of your life. Amidst transitioning from child to adult, moving out of school and starting with work, and all the life issues in between, there are people who prove themselves to you, over and over and over. These people are a constant and they help shape the person you become, not only because you share common values, but because they are a great influence to you.
 |
| With my 2 most favorite people in the world, Mahal and Neng :) |
The Greats, Up Close
The Heavens have also so graciously gifted me with wonderful business (and life) mentors. The last year has introduced me to many successful people as well as to the opportunity to learn from all of them. I can never be more thankful for the association to all these successes and the hope that the sucessess are replicable in my life as well. It is indeed true that the biggest successes are also the kindest hearts. I am thankful that I have witnessed their successes very closely. More than wanting to achieve the same, or even more success for myself, seeing what kind of wonderful people they turned out to be because of their successes inspires me to work harder to achieve it.
Hunger is a Great Thing
I also realized that the one thing that has been making me happy is how I have never ever this much hungry about learning. I am excited every day because I have learned to see that everyday is an opportunity to learn. My vision for myself is still a work in progress but knowing that every new day is a building block towards that makes waking up everyday worth while.
The Best Is Yet To Come :)
Now more than ever do I believe what T. Harv Eker says, "What you focus on, grows." I have been blessed with the gift of a healthy perspective and I am very grateful to see things the way I see them now. What makes things more exciting is that I believe that - it can only get better from here :)
Monday, March 19, 2012
(Very) Belated Birthday Thank You's
It's one day away from exactly a month since my birthday. I am now just sending virtual thank you's to those who made the day special by remembering.
Today, when everything is just a wall post or a tweet away, it warms my heart to receive (what feels like) very personal messages via SMS. To these people, a month belated, but sincerely, thank you :)
To Princess (who sent greetings in all forms of social media but took the time out to send an sms), Pastor Jody for the sincere well wishes, KCL, Queenie, Janine Badiola who warms my heart so much for remembering, Aileen Wong, Ert Ling, Dan, CJ who I haven't seen in a while but remembered, Jules Ngo, Wilbert Go, Mike Bautista, Jonathan Macaballug, Vincent Siy, Miguel Ting, Mother Leli (who made my wish come true to be a bright ray of sunshine :D), Mark de Guzman, Uncle Jo, Stong Escara for the wonderful birthday song haha, Kim Kuan who feels like another me in an alternate universe, Rach Lim who I will always love for never forgetting, Janice and Ray Alberto for the love even on days not my birthday, Jeannette, Markie who will always be one of those very close to my heart, Ate Mae, Mommy Giddi for always remembering and Mav who is mosdef one of the sweetest person I will ever know
To Blanche who sent me exactly the same message I sent her 4 days ago for her birthday because it's odd to find friends who just get get you. I am thankful not just for the birthday message but for the weird but strangely amazing friendship. And to Mahal, who has been many many things to me for a very long time. To know that I have the love and respect of someone I equally love and respect is humbling.
I am, of course, thankful to everyone else who sent their love and well wishes on my Facebook wall. The flood of love and reminders is always a welcome treat. That I got 2 seconds of precious Facebook time is appreciated hahaha. Thankful too to those who sent birthday greetings on my Twitter. To be remembered is always a happy thought :)
Thank you!
Today, when everything is just a wall post or a tweet away, it warms my heart to receive (what feels like) very personal messages via SMS. To these people, a month belated, but sincerely, thank you :)
To Princess (who sent greetings in all forms of social media but took the time out to send an sms), Pastor Jody for the sincere well wishes, KCL, Queenie, Janine Badiola who warms my heart so much for remembering, Aileen Wong, Ert Ling, Dan, CJ who I haven't seen in a while but remembered, Jules Ngo, Wilbert Go, Mike Bautista, Jonathan Macaballug, Vincent Siy, Miguel Ting, Mother Leli (who made my wish come true to be a bright ray of sunshine :D), Mark de Guzman, Uncle Jo, Stong Escara for the wonderful birthday song haha, Kim Kuan who feels like another me in an alternate universe, Rach Lim who I will always love for never forgetting, Janice and Ray Alberto for the love even on days not my birthday, Jeannette, Markie who will always be one of those very close to my heart, Ate Mae, Mommy Giddi for always remembering and Mav who is mosdef one of the sweetest person I will ever know
To Blanche who sent me exactly the same message I sent her 4 days ago for her birthday because it's odd to find friends who just get get you. I am thankful not just for the birthday message but for the weird but strangely amazing friendship. And to Mahal, who has been many many things to me for a very long time. To know that I have the love and respect of someone I equally love and respect is humbling.
I am, of course, thankful to everyone else who sent their love and well wishes on my Facebook wall. The flood of love and reminders is always a welcome treat. That I got 2 seconds of precious Facebook time is appreciated hahaha. Thankful too to those who sent birthday greetings on my Twitter. To be remembered is always a happy thought :)
Thank you!
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